10 Things To Do If You Don't Want To Sing Tomorrow
You've got a big concert tomorrow, but you don't want to sing and no one is going to make you do it either. Here are some things you can do to make sure you can't sing a note.
1. Drink lots of things that gunk up your throat, milk, orange juice, anything good and mucus producing, eat cheese, yogurt, chocolate, lots and lots of dairy.
2. Don't drink any water. NONE. If you really want to make it even worse, drink lots of coffee and pop with caffeine in it too all of these will dry you out so you can't sing a note.
3. Smoke. A lot. Get your throat good and irritated so your vocal chords can't vibrate very well.
4. Eat lots and lots of spicy food, jalapeno pepper or hotter ones if you can stand it.
5. Go to a football game and scream your head off, then sing with the radio at the top of your lungs until you can barely croak.
6. Stay up all night long. Break out the coffee pot, stay moving and don't get any sleep.
7. If you do go decide to get a couple of hours of sleep, eat a huge spicy meal right before you go to bed. The acid reflux will definitely make your voice sound awful the next day.
8. Drink lots and lots of alcohol. Not only will you have a splitting head ache and feel miserable in the morning, but your voice will sound pretty tired and slow moving as well.
9. Walk around talking at a stage whisper if you get board with that, yell at everyone or talk in a really really high voice or waaay lower than your normal speaking pitch.
10. Take lots of allergy medicine. It'll help to dry you out even more. If you want more ideas for medications that can harm your voice check out this list of over 200 medications on the National Center for Speech and Language website.
Do all of this the night before that big concert and you won't have to sing a note. :-)
