11 Causes Why You Can't Receive Criticism And How To Beat It.

The ability to receive feedback is the life blood of a thriving business and any ongoing development. It is criticism that is the proverbial axe that cuts at the base of tree. It seems its only purpose is to cut you off at the ankles. Criticism is however, rather like bread crumbs in the bed. You simply can't pretend it's not there, whether it's good or bad. So how do you learn to accept criticism, whether it is said intentionally in ignorance, or foolishly? How do you take that negative and turn it around into a positive, which is the key to every successful entrepreneur?

Here are 11 things that stop you from accepting criticism:

1. The critic has the attitude of being superior and smarter than you.
2. The critic assumes the position that there is a universal standard, or method on which the criticism is based and the critic is the sole possessor of the ability to form that measurement
3. Destructive criticism is always one sided, looking at only the negatives
4. The critic makes you feel you are an idiot and therefore deserve to be ridiculed
5. The critic wants you to believe that the criticism must be accepted
6. Criticism can be delivered in a snide, sarcastic, snarky, mocking, cynical, thoughtless, mean, spiteful, flippant, arrogant, dismissive, jealous, curt, or annoyed manner
7. The critic's motives are not always clear and shows no understanding of your aims and goals
8. Criticism that is destructive points at you, rather than to the any short fall of your project, or performance
9. It informs you of everything the critic believes is wrong, because you don't have the ability to see it yourself
10. The critic shreds your self-esteem leaving you feeling inadequate, hopeless and plain stupid
11. The criticism will'put-you-in-your-place' because you are getting'too-big-for-your-boots'. It's a perfectly natural reaction to first try to protect yourself. When you have been devastated by criticism, it is just as natural to want to hit back. When someone throws a spear at you, your reaction is to throw it back.

Let's take a quick look at constructive criticism, but remember, you need to have established a healthy relationship with the person offering the criticism:

1. Good criticism is heavily laced with compassion, not arsenic and strychnine.
2. An effective critic will have a true understanding of the intent and purpose of what has been done and what your aims and goals are. They will try to look at it from your point-of-view
3. A good critic spends more time telling you what is right, than what they believe is wrong with you, or your project, or performance, then some more good comments. Rather like a sandwich with the negative as the filling
4. Good criticism is an act of respect and careful communication, looking at your project, or performance, not at you as a person
5. Constructive criticism will help you to make the absolute best of your next set of choices
6. Good criticism will show up any slapdash, or laxness in your performance, or weakness in your project
7. Constructive criticism leaves you room to move with dignity, not slavishly follow what the critic has to say
8. Constructive criticism uplifts you mentally, morally, emotionally and spiritually.

It is almost impossible to find good feedback, which you can trust, but there are a few golden rules which will aid you to work your way through either good or bad criticism.

1. Firstly remember that criticism is much easier to give out than to receive.
2. Stop and validate the angle your critic is coming from. Then give yourself time to evaluate if there are some grains of truth in the criticism. More often than not, there are.
3. Your first reaction will always be illogical and when you react instantly to the criticism, it becomes a negative on your part.
4. You can't afford the luxury of slipping down the no-exit road of self pity. It will get you nowhere.
5. Finally, there are lessons to be learned from professional boxers. When you have been badly hurt, they go to the ropes to regroup. You need to do the same with criticism.

The problem is when you react to one sort of criticism, you leave yourself open to being at risk to another kind of criticism. When you see criticism as a golden opportunity to take stock, you are on your way to healthy growth.

You can improve where necessary, then climb on to even greater heights. If you are in the successful lane, criticism WILL come your way. Only the successful entrepreneur takes time out to turn Negative criticism into a Positive.

By: Lynette Thomas

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