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11 Going On 25
“Yep, I got one daughter. She’s 11 going on 25.” I knew there was a story in this so I dug a little deeper. “Getting a little difficult to handle, is she?” A simple question or two (containing about 10 words in total) was all it took for this guy to give me the lowdown on his early teen daughter. Female readers please note: These are ideal conditions to get a bloke talking about something close to his heart. For a start, I was a total stranger so it always easier for a bloke to offload on a stranger than on someone he knows. Second, we had a finite timeframe so he didn’t have to stay in ‘that space’ for too long! The cabbie was a single dad whose eleven year old only daughter stayed with him two days a week. Had for the last four years. “It used to be easy, mate! We’d have a ball when she come and stay with me. She was me best mate. Now, she doesn’t want to know me! Last week I asked her to clean the table up after tea and she accused me of treaten’ her like a slave. She went to her room, slammed the door and didn’t come out till breakfast” “Been there done that with my own daughters,” I said. “TWICE! You done it TWICE, mate???” “Yep, certainly have,” I replied with that smugness that comes with knowing that the other person only really knows the half of it. He then told me something really he said to his daughter that made me think what planet are you on? ………. but more about that soon. I told the driver that my experience in the parenting area was professional as well as personal. He began to quiz me for hints. I reassured him that he was not the first and wouldn’t be the last person who was flummoxed by the behaviour, language and moodiness of early teenage girls. His lack of knowledge and experience about teenagers was causing him plenty of stress and anxiety. He was getting worked up about something that fits within the normal spectrum of behaviours for this age group. He then told me how his daughter threw a full-on tantrum when he asked her if she was “putting tissues down her bra to make her boobs look bigger”. DOH!! I suggested that he may have to speak to her with a little more tact in the future. My advice was to start speaking to his daughter as if he was going for a job interview – i.e. be friendly, agree with much of what she says and think before you speak. Teen girls often reject their dads It’s hard being a dad with teenage daughters – particularly in early to middle teens. They can suddenly change and leave you out of the loop, particularly if you treat them like little girls. Their heightened verbal skills can leave many a tongue-tied, well-meaning dad wondering whatever happened to his little angel. Teenage girls often reject their dads, which is hurtful. The old, overprotective dad needs to go and allowing a new dad to emerge that accepts that his little girl is no longer…… that same little girl. There is a certain amount of sadness there but that is part of the deal. You just have to accept it. My parting words to the put-your-foot-in-it-but-good-hearted taxi driver? “Choose your words wisely when you speak with your daughter, my friend …....and as much as you can……. let her know she looks FANTASTIC.” Girls love to have their dad’s seal of approval BUT they won’t let us know it is important. I thought about this dad’s dilemma and recognised that he is not Robinson Crusoe. So I put together an information pack to help blokes stay in the game with their teenage daughters. Appropriately, I called it the Taxidriver Special: Raising teen girls learning pack. Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com Michael Grose is Australia's No.1 parenting expert. He is the director of www.parentingideas.com.au, the author of 7 books for parents & a popular presenter who speaks to audiences in Australia, Singapore & the USA. Get your FREE Chores & Responsibilities for Kids Guide when you visit www.parentingideas.com.au. Get a hold of Michael's sensational new book Why First Borns Rule the World & Last Borns Want to Change It at www.michaelgrose.com. |
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