2 Key Mistakes When Getting Back Your Ex

Trying to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship is tough work, and the fact that your whole world is falling apart doesn't usually make it any easier. It's really easy to make simple mistakes that would seem obvious if you had a clear head, but sound pretty appealing when you're heartbroken. Two of these above all others are the easiest traps to fall into.

1. Text Message Terrorism: This is basically you going into "Panic Mode" and virtually attacking your ex with attention. It's named for the most common means of assault, but it's not limited to just text messages. This can be anything from emails, phone calls, voice mail messages, in fact I'd even extend it's definition to include orchestrated "chance meetings."

In order for this breakup to go relatively smoothly and for you to have a chance to get your ex back, you can't appear so desperate as this positively screams. When a needy person attaches him or herself to you, your first instinct is to push him or her away...and is that what you want your ex to do to you? Maintain some distance, and a semblance of cool. Even if you feel torn up inside, you need to outwardly look like you're doing all right.

2. Drunk Dialing: Some people may even classify this under Text Message Terrorism as well, but it's really more of its own thing since it can be a one-time "oops" that destroys any sense of cool you may have had in your ex's eyes. It's a difficult one to avoid: usually the hour is late and you've been drinking, which only serves to make the loneliness even stronger.

In fact, the pain is so great that you can't bear to go any longer without talking to your ex, and before your mind has had a chance to figure out what a bad idea it is, your fingers already have your phone out and are dialing the number. When nobody picks up (remember: it's usually late at night), you have no idea what to really say so you pour everything in your head and heart out into a long winded and horribly desperate-sounding message.

If you're sober right now, I'm sure you can recognize what an absolutely horrible idea this is...but when the depression takes its toll and you've had a few to take the edge off, it can be almost automatic. You have to be on-guard against this, as it's really easy to slip up on. My best advice is just not to chase your problems away with any kind of drug or alcohol...dealing with it head-on hurts more, but it also helps more. Whatever you do to dull your breakup pain, make sure you keep a clear head.

Even in a campaign for getting your ex back that's going really well, one or both of these mistakes can really demolish your chances of successfully getting back together with your ex. Avoid these if at all possible, and if they've already hit you don't worry too much...you can usually recover if you stop immediately and take countermeasures.

Are you making these mistakes with your ex? Watch these How to Get Your Ex Back videos that not only show you how to avoid these common mistakes but how to fix them fast if you have already made these blunders.

By: Kane Toh

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