Most women dream about their wedding day from the time they are young girls, envisioning beautiful flowers and gorgeous dresses with a stunning cake at the reception. They can just see themselves walking down the aisle towards their prince charming, feeling like Cinderella at the ball. All of their hard work has paid off, and they have their Mr. Right. They feel their work is done. When actually, it's just beginning!
You've probably heard it before, "Marriage takes work!" But people don't tell you that it's more than just being patient with him when he leaves that one I-didn't-want-to-take-down-another-jar corner of jelly in the jar or that fact that he prefers his toilet paper roll over instead of under. It's the adjustment that you make when you take off the fairy-tale glasses and see your marriage in the light of forever-hood. Hopefully, these tips will help you in your new life as husband and wife.
After The Toast Comes The Test!
It usually doesn't dawn on you while you are toasting champagne glasses after the wedding that forever can be a really long time, and your marriage must stand the test of time. Sure, there will be a day when you look over at your not-so-new hubby and say, "Is this what I signed up for?" You've realized that the honeymoon is over. But that is when you dig deep and push forward determined to recognize the joys that show up right in the middle of the everyday stuff. Remember, marriage is not a destination, but a journey of commitment filled with a little good and a little bad that will balance out over time.
Dispel the Never-Go-To-Bed-Angry Theory
Let's face it! While that old adage is true most of the time, there will be times when an issue just can't be resolved in a day. You might just go to bed angry, disappointed or upset a time or two, but always go to be with love. Remember, just because you may not like what a person did, that doesn't mean you don't still love them. Besides, discussing something when you are boiling mad just because it is bedtime might cause you to say something you'll regret. Going to sleep after a brief kiss or "I love you" despite what has happened can speak volumes about your unwavering love. Try to calm down, focus on the love and work it out after you've had some time to think it through. (But don't take too long. You don't want things to fester.)
Welcome to the Gray Area
A lot of us tend to see things in black and white. Everything is either cut and dry or right and wrong. However, those who have lived a lifetime loving someone else will tell you that things are not usually that way, and being right is not always best. Coming to this realization, you have now entered the "Gray Area," a place where compromise, understanding and "seeing things their way" live. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
Marriage is a wonderfully blessed union that brings life fulfillment and joy. While it may seem like there are times when things are not going quite as you expected, remember that there will be plenty of times when things are better than you could have ever imagined. The wedding may have given you your fairy-tale, but the marriage gives you your dream.
