A Desparate Cry For Christian Mentoring Of Abused Children
Sometimes the providential care of God gently demands my awareness, and in doing so it rolls up the darkness of suspicion that has a way of moving into my perspective. One such incident happened to me just lately. Last Friday afternoon, I was working at my desk stressing over the minutiae of ministry when I received a call. The man on the other end of the phone announced himself as Robert Stinser*, and mentioned he had been matched to a Long Island Youth Mentoring mentor when he was eleven years-old. He said that he was older now, and wanted to give back in some manner to this ministry. I asked Robert how old he is now and he said thirty-three.
Robert requested if he could speak at a dinner or some other event where he could relate what his mentor had meant in his life. I mentioned the auction on November 14th, and inquired what he would like to share. This is what he said:
When I was initially matched, my Father was in jail for abusing my sisters. My Mother was working to fulfill her own perceived needs while trying to raise three children. Drugs and men came freely into and out of our apartment. Robert, my Youth Mentoring mentor was my only steadfast--the only person I could really rely on. It was Bob who taught me how to ride a bike, and afterwards how to drive a car. When I was old enough to get out on my own, it was Bob who taught me how to plan for, and get my first apartment and how to figure out my finances and budget and support myself. Most important, it was Bob who shared the beauty of the Gospel and who prayed a blessing over me and my beautiful Christian wife when we got married. It was Bob who gave me advice on how to be a Dad--the type of Dad God wanted me to be.
I never imagined I would own my own home, currently I own my own house and have my own business. My wife and I have two children. In the past twenty-two years there has not been a period of time longer than two weeks when I did not communicate with Bob. Now my friends call me for parenting advice, and I tell them what Bob taught me."
As he paused, I thought about the fact that this man currently has a three year old and a six year old living in a safe healthy home. Eventually I said, Robert, your young ones are really what this ministry is all about. He asked me , why. I told him that the kind of abuse that he and his sisters went through in childhood is usually passed on from generation to generation. The fact that his children have never experienced this trauma is testimony that God has put an end to it in his generation.
I could hear the emotion in his voice as he said this. John, what you say is so real. So much bad has taken place in my family and I have changed so much that I wanted to change my name. I did not want to have any part of my family name. Now I am glad I did not, but I understand what you are saying about multi-generational sin.
I asked Robert what kind of business he owns. He said, I install fire sprinkler and alarm systems. I mentioned that I had just sent out bids for such systems to be put in our new ministry center. Would you like to give us a bid? I asked him. Robert said sure; so, I emailed the blueprints to him. He called back to say he would not be bidding on the job because he would like to do the job--free of charge. I said, Robert, I really value your loving gift, but I do not want you to get damaged by being so generous, particularly at such a stressful financial time. Robert replied, I have installed a couple churches in my community already for free. It never hurts me. I always end up ahead, and I would like to give to Youth Mentoring.
Gods care of us, His children, astonishing. Whenever I start to forget why we labor on this mission field…whenever bills, the building or broken families pierce the peace in serving Him, He sends people like Robert to me with a fantastic, heavenly reminder of just how great, and loving, a God we have. It happens all the time. I pray that someday, reality will sink in and I will lean wholly on God and doubt my fears instead of trusting my fears and abandoning God.
John M. Cragg
Executive Director
Long Island Youth Mentoring
John Cragg has been Director or Long Island Youth Mentoring for 20 years. He supports over 600 Long Island at risk children with Christian mentors. You can learn more at ChristianMentor.com.
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