Do you have peace of mind? Many people are troubled by persistent, anxious feelings and thoughts. If this describes you, be sure to read every single word of this article.
If you scratch the surface of anxiety, and you will find fear. Your feelings are a warning sign that something is wrong. It is important to be aware of your feelings, and calmly address them.
Consider the following examples of anxiety, fear and worry from my counseling patients. (Names have been changed, of course) Dolores constantly worried that she would make a mistake and get fired from her job. Tim was promoted to manager and dreaded the idea of supervising so many people. Lillian felt anxious about her job and worried about being on time. Robert, a salesman, worried about getting fired because a poor performance appraisal. Carlos was worried because compulsive gambling put him deeply in debt.
None of these people had a good reason to quit or give up. Each person could do something to become stronger and reduce their anxiety.
Dolores could get additional training, to feel more prepared for her job duties. Tim could also getting some extra training in supervising people. Lilian could read books about time management and getting organized. Carlos could join a support group for his gambling problem. Robert could get some coaching, and talk to someone about what action steps that he could take to improve his job performance.
Of course, all of these people experienced anxiety. Some even struggled to explain why they were anxious or what they were afraid of. Often, a free-floating anxiety stems from feelings of inadequacy. If a person lacks confidence, then simple decisions become a major obstacles, for fear of failure or rejection.
Anxiety can certainly make us feel uncomfortable physically and emotionally. Anxiety makes our heart beat faster, upsets our stomach, and sometimes gives us a headache. This is because we convert our anxiety to physical symptoms. There is a mind-body connection.
Anxiety can also disturb our sleep. It can interfere with our sex life. Anxiety also reeks havoc with our ability to concentration and focus.
Free-floating anxiety can cause us to feel helpless and powerless to change. Someone who fears flying can be in a state of terror. The list of things people fear is endless and can cause panic and loss of control.
I recall treating a woman who had an anxiety attack while watching a movie. As a result, she became fearful of leaving her house. (This is called agoraphobia) In therapy, she learned about why she was so fragile emotionally. Also, she learned to recognize her feelings and deal with them calmly and rationally.
Now, let's focus back on you. If you have a problem with anxiety, I encourage you to take a personal inventory of what is bothering you. Doing this will increase your awareness. Always utilize anxiety as a signal to get stronger. Don't let your anxiety immobilize you. Rather, consider your feelings to be a cue, and use this to discover what is bothering you. Pay attention to your anxious thoughts. Keep a record of them.
You should also talk to someone (such as a professional counselor) about your feelings. If your funds are limited, look into local social service programs, as there are many options available to you.
Remember that life is an adventure, and it's not meant to be lived in fear. Address your fears, and take charge of your life.
Writer Dr. Kenneth Herman is the author of "Secrets from the Sofa: A Psychologist's Guide to Personal Peace." The book, which is based on Dr. Herman's 45 years of counseling practice, focuses on the methods of change that have proven to be effective and get results, every single time. Check it out at www.secretsfromthesofa.com
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