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Are You A Pleaser ? If So, What Kind Are You & How This Kills A Marriage
Guess what? Any mistake can be good when it helps lead you to learn more about truth and your true self. Truth is like a clean window that lets in light and allows you to see more clearly. The truth is this: nothing and no one can give you self-esteem and self acceptance—only yourself. Real self-confidence and self-esteem always comes from within and you can heal your self-esteem. Find Out What Kind of Pleaser Might You Be by Using the Following Inventory. By answering the following questions you can give a gift yourself. Taking an inventory of your pleasing behaviors can give you insights. Answer by letting the first answer come to your mind. If you change that answer you are second guessing yourself. This is an important point for you because second guessing is being dishonest with yourself. To go a step further mark which ones you want to change. Take the quiz and answer as follows: 1. “That describes me.” 2. “That describes me sometimes and sometimes not.” 3. “Not me, but there are some similarities.” 4. “Not really me.” 5. “Not me at all.” ______1. I feel insecure and not very confident most of the time. ______2. I feel I have to "walk on eggshells" to keep everyone from getting angry. ______3. I had a father who was distant or unloving most of the time. ______4. If I’m at a store and shorted a penny or two on change, I don't ask for it. ______5. I feel overpowered by my husband, boyfriend, or fiancé'. ______6. I feel I really can't do things right. ______7. I say, "I should have, I ought to ......"a lot. ______8. My husband and children know how to make me feel guilty. ______9. I feel like hiding, running away, not dealing with things. ______10. I do not like confrontations. ______11. I often tell others I like what they're doing or saying when I really don't. ______12. If I try on six or seven pairs of pants at the store, I feel I'm obligated to buy at least one pair. ______13. I often feel as if lm not really running my own life. ______14. I get don't much appreciation from those I love. ______15. I am easily talked into choices that please other people more than they please me. ______16. When I stand up for my rights or take the initiative, I feel nervous or embarrassed. ______17. If I am ignored, insulted or given poor service in a store or restaurant, I let it go because it isn't worth the hassle to complain. ______18. I feel I have few choices or options to improve my life. ______19. I don't receive much respect from my mate. ______20. Taking on new choices or behaviors makes me feel afraid and anxious. SCORING: 25 or below -. You are in the hands of a controller or possibly a misogynist who is constantly criticizing and abusing you verbally and at times physically, you need help, probably from an outside source such as a counselor. You are a SUPERSUFFERING PL EASER 25-50 - You can find the losers or the losing situations in life. You are most likely tied to a "mega loser" who keeps you involved with him because "he needs you." Or perhaps you are being victimized by a husband who is a womanizer wanderer or deadbeat who can't keep a job. You are hanging on by your fingernails but starting to slip. You are in pain as a DEPRESSED PLEASER. 50-75 - You often feel exhausted and under the pressure - as if someone‘s always wanting a piece or part of you. You don't get respect, you wish you could stand up for yourself but you don't know how. You are a PLAYED - OUT PLEASER 75-90 –Your life isn't all that unhappy. You have good times and some bad, but you know things could be much, much better. You are a MILDLY DISCOURAGED PLEASER. 9O and above You have enough assertiveness and self-esteem to find fulfillment, satisfaction, and enjoyment, but you still like to please. Your family gives you the love and support you need, and your pleasing efforts are an even exchange for that love and support. You are a POSITIVE PLEASER. Set this aside for a few weeks and then go back and reread the ones you circled. Choose one to focus on now. Then ask yourself, “How can I change this behavior in myself?” Remember the first step is becoming aware of your unhealthy behaviors. With this awareness as the golden key for change, make a commitment between yourself and your Higher Power to do the best you can in changing that one behavior you’ve chosen. Be on the lookout for healthy, safe others that you can ask for their support in your healing process. All pleasing behaviors that are causing you anxiety, guilt, and pain can be changed through the healing process. Your limitations can be broken by starting to take one little step at a time. Help is here. Learn the real tips and tool secrets. Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com Dr. Fuller’s work as a leading eating disorder expert, Licensed Counselor, and National Hypnotherapist has helped countless individuals find happiness that has eluded them. Her seventeen years of private practice gives her a unique insight into what can work to change one’s life. The syntax is Click Here To View My Website www.surgeonofthesubconscious.com”>Click Here To View My Website |
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