Bad Parenting Vs. Good Parenting: A Matter Of Perspective

For many of us, the fear that we will somehow end up being bad parents begins to creep into our heads long before we have children. For others it hits us when we leave the hospital, a little puzzled that medical professionals just allowed us to leave with a tiny little human and no guidebook.

So, how does a caring parent deal with those fears? How does one avoid bad parenting?


To begin with you must rid yourself of the ridiculous notion that you can be the “Perfect Parent”. It isn’t going to happen. You’re human and you are going to make a bad call, lose your cool, make a bad judgment, etc.

Now that you know it’s inevitable, start figuring out a plan of action on how you will respond to your child, yourself and any third party that might be involved when it happens. If you have an idea of how to maneuver though the prickly maze of pride-swallowing fault admittance, you’ll find that crow a little easier to eat in the future.

As an added bonus, you model for your child the truth of life that ALL people mess up and that the important thing is to learn from your mistakes.

Now that we know you can’t be a perfect parent, what’s next? You try as hard as you can to be as close to a perfect parent as possible. The internet age makes it relatively easy to search and find other parents or professionals who have advice on how to deal with almost any situation that could arise. Use those resources and many others.

Talk to parents, family, doctors, educators, or social workers.. Gather as much information as you can, and educate yourself about the stages of development for children. Learn about learning and discipline styles. Try things out, Research Discuss. Ask for help.

Then, sift through all that information and find what works for your family dynamic and personality style. A little information on the general development of a child will provide you with a treasure-trove of information that will soothe your concerns.

It’s a learning process for everyone but keep in mind that the more you learn the better prepared you are to deal with any situation. Like any great responsibility, it helps to be educated about it to avoid making common errors.

Finally, be consistent. Set clear and specific boundaries and expectations and then encourage and enforce them. Remember that, regardless of the age of your child, they have been on this planet a very short time compared to you and are trying to figure out how the world works. If you keep changing the rules on them it sets them up for failure….and makes your job all the harder.

By: Ian MacPherson

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