Being Friends With Your Ex - Will It Help In Saving A Relationship?
When your lover has broken up with you, the first thing you want to do is get back in contact with him or her. A common way to try to do that is by trying to "be friends" with your ex. This is absolutely the last thing you want to do at this point. It will make it much more difficult to save your relationship. What you really want to do (even if you really don't want to do it) is to stay away from your ex for a while. Why should you do this? It seems to go against your every impulse.
What happens when you have contact with your ex too soon is that the emotions haven't cooled off enough yet for either of you to be able to communicate or even think clearly. You make lots of mistakes that pretty well ruin your prospects of reuniting with your ex.
You may find that you're defending yourself, or trying to convince them to please come back to you, or you may get angry and start arguing. All of which you will surely regret soon. You may also display symptoms of panic and desperation. You most assuredly do not want your ex to perceive you as desperate and needy! The best way to avoid these problems is by avoiding your ex for the time being.
Now, you can gain more than just avoiding problems -- you will gain some benefits too. For one thing, you'll find yourself calmer and more in control of yourself. You'll be more capable of thinking out a plan of action to salvage your relationship.
You'll also be better able to consider your ex's point of view so you can show him or her respect and sympathy. He or she will certainly notice how cool and collected and confident you are. Very mature and desirable. This is what you want most of all. Having achieved this step, you'll be in good shape for any other things you want to do to show your ex that coming back to you is a great idea.
But remember, all these benefits can only come to you if you stay away for a while. The problems you'll cause through contact and trying to "be friends" are not worth it at all, at least if you want to save your relationship. Just say no to getting in touch for a few weeks while you plan your next move to bring your lover back to you.
