Being Prepared When You Decide To Adopt A Toddler

I'd like to sum up how it feels to adopt a toddler in just one sentence: It is very rewarding, however it's not always a box of chocolates. Did you know that at least half of all adoptive parents are adopting a toddler for one reason or another?

Some think that they would not want to miss out on witnessing the imaginative nature of a toddler. For others, it is their intention to adopt an infant, but due to delays in the adoption process (especially in the case of international adoptions), the baby will grow up to be a toddler by the time the adoption is final.

If you adopt a toddler you have several options. You can adopt a child internationally or domestically. Between these two types of adoptions you can choose either a public or a private adoption agency to work with.

The prices will differ drastically between private and public agencies. If you adopt domestically and go with a public adoption agency, your costs will be very little, whereas, a private adoption can reach as high as $30,000!

It’s really up to you on what type of toddler adoption option you will make use of, as long as you can afford it and you are ready for the requirements of the agency.

You will find that if you adopt a toddler it is a much more pleasurable experience if you can prepare the child during the adoption process. For example, you could send the toddler pictures or better still, you could see about arranging to have visits with them as frequently as possible before you bring them home with you permanently.

You may think you are prepared, however, for the toddler the transition will be extra difficult. Expect to be severely tested, take into account, of course, whether they have a scarred past.

Learn as much as possible about the child prior to adopting them. Some parents have adopted severely abused children, only to undergo some pretty traumatic experiences. They later discovered that their expectations of warm hugs and tiny welcoming hands weren't exactly met.

Months of compromising fits of anger and temper tantrums have shocked them. Keep in mind that this is actually how toddlers are prone to act, especially when they are getting use to a new environment.

As a potential parent for an adopted toddler, you will be required to have a lot of time and patience to build an attachment and relationship with the child.

You can take a leave from work so that you can devote your time fully as a parent to this toddler. You should be elegible for adoption leave (similar to maternity leave). I could not take this because I was a stay at home mom, but my husband could have. Friends of ours were able to and they adopted a 11 year old girl.

You will also need to adjust a lot yourself, and be physically fit enough to meet the demands of this new endeavor. Toddlers do not usually adjust easily, they are quite a bundle of energy, and so you must be able to have the endurance and stamina to keep yourself strong and firm to establish not just attachment but also authority.

It would probably be a good idea to get together with other parents who have adopted a toddler, so that they can share some of their experiences with you. Receiving support from others can be helpful in dealing with the transition phase more effectively.

By: Constance McKenzie

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Connie McKenzie is a part-time work at home mom. She has two beautiful adopted girls and a wonderful husband. My site offers foster care and adoption information, as well as lots of useful resources for those wishing to adopt a child. Child Adoption Matters because as her daughter says, "Child adoption does matter, mommy!