Bereavement And Suicide: Important Considerations To Help Understand Your Emotions.

If one of our loved ones commits suicide, it is likely we will be even more shocked and upset than in a normal bereavement. In bereavement, suicide leaves its mark on those who are survivors far more than in a natural death. All of our reactions will be different, but if we understand some of the emotions we might feel, we can come to terms with this better. That way, we can begin to find a new life without the one we loved and go beyond the raw emotion.

Shame.

Shame is an emotion which we may feel. There is still a stigma to suicide in our society. Secrets may be kept from other family members. This can stop us from grieving properly. This can be even stronger if there has been an attempted suicide in the past.

Guilt.

We may often feel guilt if someone has died through suicide. Even though we may consider it is not actually our fault, we may well think that we could have done something to stop it. Guilt can create more problems for some people, driving them to more destructive behaviour in a subconscious way. This can be helped by seeking professional support.

Blame.

Sometimes we can project our feelings of guilt and anger onto other people. We want to blame someone else for what has happened. If we become aware of this, we can better understand ourselves or those who are close to us.

Anger.

We can feel anger at being rejected and being the survivor of the one we loved or were close to. This can be an intense anger. Why did they leave us alone? What was it about us that meant they thought we were worthless and could leave us behind? We might feel a rage against the bereaved.

Anxiety.

As in any death, we can feel anxious. We may feel nervous about other deaths and we may dwell on our own mortality. These concerns are commonplace and by addressing them we may be able to find a way to understanding our future path in life a little more, without the one we loved.

All of these emotions and many others will hit us. For some they will come all at once. For others they may come over time. Shame, guilt, blame, anger, anxiety and many other forms of suffering felt in a normal bereavement should be addressed. If necessary, seek help to give you support.

By: Emilie Warren

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Dr Emilie Warren has wide experience of helping people cope with grief and bereavement as well as understanding their own fears around death and dying. She is an accomplished writer on the subject, hosting her own website, www.dealingwithdeath.com. She has a Master's degree and a PhD from Cambridge University in England. More help is available at: www.dealingwithdeath.com/bereavement-suicide/