A friend of mine confided the other day that it’s a shame guys still measure their worth by the size of their bank account, house, lover, and, well... You get the picture. Mark, who used to blush at the drop of a hat, has learned that the secret to curing his red faced reaction to embarrassment lay in improving his self image. And that his normal reaction – being embarrassed about it – only made things worse. He began anticipating potential trigger situations and went out of his way to avoid them. This only intensified his alienation, resulting in more anxiety and even lower self esteem. Naturally he blushed more frequently.
Today he basks in the freedom only a healthy self image can afford, and is married to a former Miss America contestant. Like so many others Mark beat his blushing problem by not trying to be acceptable, but by accepting himself. So how did they do it?
The first step is to accept who you are. Potentially threatening social situations are inevitable for all of us. Going into them not fighting it, but accepting the inevitable blush, will decrease the duration and intensity. And in time, the frequency as well.
The second step is to accept the situation. You can only do what you can do. People have to meet you half way. If they don’t like you, they don’t like you. The best way to act likeable is to believe you are. Head up, calm, and focused on your own positive life. That includes friends and positive experiences that make you feel good about being you.
Truthfully, the opinions of others are a realistic factor in the grown up world. Job interviewers, loan officers, and prospective in laws all have a huge impact on our quality of life. It’s part of taking your place in the continuum of your circle of society. It’s finding your own type of people that makes life worthwhile.
What if we don’t feel like we fit in? That we are pretenders doomed to a life outside looking in at success, happiness, and self worth.
That kind of thinking indicates that either the people around you aren’t your type, or that you can’t allow yourself to feel loved. Either way it’s a self esteem issue. And both can be corrected. Ask yourself, Do they measure up to me, and my way of looking at things? If not, why do I care about their opinion.
If you answered no, and you don’t, joining or starting a group that shares your values and interests may be all the help you need to get over your misconceptions. Saving the environment, making money, or inventing new and weird ways to prepare squid; it doesn’t matter.
The point is to put yourself in a place where you can be validated, and validate others. Remember to stay calm and enjoy the experience of learning to be around people like you. Your confidence will grow and so will the others’ around you.
Steph Bryans;
I would like to provide you with tools to implement in your life to help you overcome the challenges you face in dealing with the problem of blushing. I have produced a report, which you can download for FREE and is a result of extensive research which I made in my quest to understand, deal with and overcome my own problem of facial blushing, which I now wish to pass on in the hope it will help fellow sufferers.
For Free report visit: www.facialblushingsecretsfree.com
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