Bosses And High Achievers Are Like Peas In A Pod

Maintaining a positive relationship with a boss is difficult for most people, particularly high achievers. After all, accepting authority is basically at odds with the attributes of career success, such as ambition, confidence, the desire for more responsibility and authority.

The crux of the matter is that bosses and high achievers on the career path are made up of the same genes. They are as alike as two peas in a pod.

Few people really like their boss day in, day out. They may experience periods of harmony, but there will always be times when they dislike their boss. They bridle at authority because they resist being told what to do; they want to push ahead unfettered by a "superior."

Achieving your career goals does not require that you like the idea of having a boss. You don't even have to like the person who sits in that position. However, it does help to make the most of the relationship if you can find some things to like about the person in the corner office.

In any case, common sense says three things: (1) you'll always have a boss; (2) you cannot escape the reality of the pecking order; and (3) you'd be wise to learn to manage it in a positive and effective way if you want to enjoy career success.

DEPENDENCY IS THE ISSUE

"Dealing effectively with one's boss boils down...to the issue of dependency," says Forrest Tate, a noted management consultant.

"The boss is inevitably a father figure," according to Dr. William Menninger of the famed Menninger Clinic. "To be a good father requires that he be understanding, that he be considerate and that he be human enough to be affectionate."

At the same time, seeing ourselves as grown-ups, we become angry with ourselves and the boss when he can't deliver these feelings on the job.

Some degree of parental attachment to the boss is inevitable. This relationship vacillates between love and hate. Most of us crave the boss's approval, yet we resist having to seek it. We want the protection a boss-parent can provide, yet we resist the boss being involved in our affairs.

The relationship can run the range from total dependence to extreme independence.

The totally dependent individual can't make a decision on his own. New ideas are virtually non-existent. Obviously, these individuals are stuck, working at the mercy of their boss. In these cases the boss may lapse into the role of a doting, protective parent and kill off any flicker of independent spirit. This type of boss enables failure.

Extremely independent people live a trouble life. They can't stand having a boss, so they are always in conflict with authority. They are constantly pushing the limits of their responsibility and authority. They find it hard to be a team player. They constantly push away their bosses.

Career Advice: A recognized mutual dependency is the key to a productive relationship between the boss and his followers.

By: Ramon Greenwood

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For free career coaching click here: www.commonsenseatwork.com. You'll receive The Career Accelerator, Ramon Greenwood's semi-monthly newsletter. You can also visit his Your Blog For Career Advice via this route. Greenwood's coaching comes from a world of experience, including serving as Senior Vice President of American Express, an entrepreneur, professional director, career coach and author.