Building Relationships, Commitment, And Love - Starting With F
We continue our series on how to build interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone. Commitment and love are important to all of us; they are worth fighting for; they are worth working for. You also should know that in spite of many promises there is no secret for success, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly no checklist of things not to do. But we do have suggestions, now continuing with the letter F. The focus is on faith, faith, and fidelity.
F is for faith. There is the issue of religious faith. You start with the same faith as your parents, but your faith may change over the years. As may theirs. You may or may not choose a partner who shares your faith. If you choose a partner who shares your faith you reduce if not eliminate one of the many bones of contention that can easily split a couple. If your marriage is not “mixed”, your children start life with your religious faith; this is probably a source of pleasure for both of you. Do I need to tell you that there is no guarantee that they will remain in your “camp”? Children of mixed marriages rarely combine 50-50 the faiths of their two parents. In spite of promises made to a partner at the beginning of the couple, it can be hard to accept that your children share your partner’s faith, and not yours. Not all religious faith issues occur in the family. Many workplaces bring together or should we say thrust together people with widely varying religious beliefs. Do you want to quit your job because your colleague or even your boss doesn’t share some or any of your beliefs? There is a possibility that the tall guy in the office two doors down is a member of a sleeper cell but there’s a far greater possibility that you’ll be hit by car on the way to work. In most cases it’s sufficient to show your co-workers that you respect other people’s beliefs and feelings and are happy to work with them. If the issue arises, tell them nicely but firmly that you are not interested in converting to their religion. And don’t confuse a minority of hothead fanatics with the great majority, no matter what their religion.
There is another question of faith. Show people that you have faith in them. Their knowledge of your confidence in them improves the relationship and the likelihood of its success. While you are spreading faith in others don’t forget to have faith in yourself. If you don’t have faith in yourself, how can you expect others to have faith in you?
F is for fidelity. I don’t have to tell you about the importance of fidelity in marriage. It is also important to show fidelity to your friends and associates. Don’t betray them for a few talents of silver. Don’t betray them for a step up the corporate ladder. Let them know that you are with them through thick and thin. Expect the same from them, but don’t be too disappointed if they fail you.
Levi Reiss authored or co-authored ten computer and Internet books. He teaches Linux and other computer subjects at an Ontario French-language college and been in a committed relationship for almost thirty years. Visit his new site www.loveamourlove.com, for articles and quotes on love and building relationships, commitment, and friendship. His other sites include www.theworldwidewine.com.
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