In our quest to break habits, it is very important to understand that a habit actually functions to meet one of our needs. That is how it came into being in the first place. No matter how negative or destructive a habit may be, we developed that habit to use it for something.
For example take the bad habit of biting fingernails. Many people bite their fingernails when they feel nervous. To them, biting fingernails is actually an outlet to release their nervousness and anxiousness. So that is the function of the habit of biting fingernails.
When you break a habit, but did not replace it with an alternative to perform the old habits function, you will eventually go back to doing the old habit. As in the above example, if you dont find an alternative way to handle nervousness, if you dont have a way to release your emotions of anxiousness and uneasiness, youll eventually go back to your fingernail biting days.
That is why you need to identify the function and purpose of a particular habit. What did that habit give you on a physical, psychological and emotional level? Which needs did it meet? How is it meeting those needs?
Remember, when you kick a habit, you will be losing the function of that particular habit too. Without having an adequate replacement, you will unconsciously go back to doing that habit sooner or later.
To discover the function of a particular habit, it is often necessary to look deeper into ourselves and our actions. To do this, try to identify a pattern that regularly leads you to doing the habit. Look for indicators to help you find the original purpose which made you develop that habit in the first place.
In identifying the patterns of a habit, you can ask questions such as when do you usually do the habit; what other thing were you doing at the time; where were you; who were you with; what happened before you did the habit; what time of the day was it etc.
After you know what the function of a habit is, you can then brainstorm ways to replace it. Come up with an alternative action that can adequately take the place of the habit. So if you bite fingernails when youre nervous, a good alternative would be to learn breathing exercises that can relax the body and use it whenever you start to feel nervous.
Look for positive ways to fill that gap and ensure that the replacement is effective and adequate. Only through doing that will we kick a habit for the long term.
Want to learn more about how to break a habit? Business consultant and personal development enthusiast Ethan Beh has spent many years finding and practicing the best personal development techniques, teaching and ideas. Visit his website for more resource.
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