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Children And Grief - How To Help And Support Bereaved Children
1. Remember to listen to children. Children always have questions and every parent knows that sometimes their questions can be difficult or even annoying. When someone dies, children will naturally have questions - and these will be difficult. One of the most important things to do is to actually answer them. Don't be afraid of giving the wrong answer, but do give them time. Often children's questions are not really factual questions at all, but just a way of trying to understand. If it's easier, it can be a good idea to respond by asking them a question. In this way, children can express themselves more. 2. Remember there are different stages of grieving as children develop. Children will grieve in a different way at different stages in their development. As they grow up, you will probably find that children will re-grieve for someone who was very close to them. They need to understand more about their loss in the context of their new understanding about the world. Very young children may revisit their grief both a few years later and again at adolescence. Do encourage them to be open about talk about this new experience of mourning. 3. Know that children are curious by nature and need to know things. Although we can't always tell children everything, as what they hear may not be appropriate to their age, keeping information back or changing stories is a poor idea. It will not spare them any pain. Like adults, they do need to understand what is going on. Unlike, children may create their own stories within themselves if you do not share the truth with them and this may worsen the pain. 4. Know that children may wonder whether they are going to die as well. It is natural for a child to be scared when someone they love dies. They can wonder whether the same thing may happen to them or to someone else who is close to them. This is a time when children may feel the protection given by adults around them cannot be relied on, as their world has been shattered. Children need huge reassurance and comfort from those all around them including teachers and friends. It is important to find a way for children to express their fears as well, so that they can be reassured. 5. Help children and yourself find ways to say goodbye You should not exclude children from the process of saying goodbye to people they love. Throughout generations and across the world, funerals have been a way of saying goodbye and involving children can be good for everyone. If this is not possible, try to find a way that you can share your grief and say farewell together. You and the child will find it helpful. Always remember that there is no shame in asking for help and you should seek help for your child as soon as you have any concerns or feel out of your depth. Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com Dr Emilie Warren has wide experience of helping people cope with grief and bereavement as well as their own fears around death and dying. She is an accomplished writer on the subject, hosting her own website, www.dealingwithdeath.com. She has a Master's degree and a PhD from Cambridge University in England. She is also an ordained Christian minister. As well as her work with the human soul and spirit, she has a wide range of knowledge across secular psychological arenas. Helping understand children and grief is a step towards helping support your children deal with death: www.dealingwithdeath.com/children-and-grief/ |
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