Cohabitation Versus Marriage

According to the National Statistics Online research, marriages have declined significantly over the past twenty-five years, whereas cohabitation has consistently increased. In addition, single women are more likely to cohabit than single men but separated or widowed men are more likely to cohabit than separated or widowed women. Research also indicates that women are more likely to cohabit at a younger age than men. Whereas women between the ages of 16 and 24 are more likely to cohabit, the same holds true for men above 25 years. There are many reasons why people choose to cohabit. Some couples consider cohabitation arrangement before marriage as an experiment. They feel that living together and getting to know each other on a daily basis will help them understand their compatibility with each other. The cohabitation process becomes a way of practising living with one another to become better aware of each other’s character, fidelity, habits, and living styles. Some people are not very comfortable with the idea of marriage. Such people not only have a fear of commitment but also fear failures. Therefore, cohabitation seems to be an attractive alternate arrangement because even if the relationship does not work out, they would not have to face the consequences associated with a messy divorce. This arrangement can seem especially attractive when people want emotional and sexual intimacy but do not want the responsibilities or obligations associated with a marriage. Recent studies have proved that cohabitation does not lead to marriage in majority of the cases. In addition, contrary to the common perception, if the cohabiters do get married, there is an increased likelihood of these couples ending up in a divorce. Cohabiters also face an increased risk of drug abuse as well as physical, financial, and emotional abuse. The rate of domestic violence is also higher amongst cohabiters as compared to married people. The violence as well as abuse can lead to depression, homicide, or suicide. If you have experienced divorce and are thinking about cohabiting in your next relationship, think again. Marriage can help you create a far better relationship than cohabitation. Let us look at some factors that can help you understand why cohabitation increases your chances of having a failed relationship or divorce.

Consequences of Cohabitation


People who decide to cohabit are individuals who are less committed to relationships and more unconventional than others. Cohabitation seems to be the easy way out to such people. People, who do not value commitments, want an easy way in and easy way out. Therefore, breaking up a relationship becomes far easier for people who cohabit. Even if people who cohabit get into a marriage, it is very easy for them to walk out of an unsatisfying marriage.
Cohabitation results in very short-lived relationships. Research indicates that approximately only 10% of the couples who cohabit without getting married still stay together after a period of five years. In addition, the cohabiters who do get married to each other are 46% more likely to divorce than people who do not cohabit before marriage. Women who tend to cohabit before marriage are twice as likely to divorce or separate from their partners than women who do not cohabit with anyone before their marriage.
Most cohabiters tend to have divorced parents and, therefore, a failed marriage may appear to be a normal issue. They may have negative attitudes about marriage and are more likely to accept divorce as a solution to their marital problems, even if the problems are very petty in nature. The cohabiters become so accustomed to their individual lifestyles without any kind of interdependence that they may never be able to develop an intimate emotional connection with each other. Therefore, walking out of such relationships becomes easy. This walk-in-walk-out arrangement of relationships might become a pattern amongst the cohabiters and, consequently, they may never experience long-lasting and nurturing relationships. Marriage, on the other hand, requires commitment and understanding. When two people learn to be interdependent on each other, it can prove to be a very fulfilling emotional and physical experience.
Cohabitation increases the risk of infidelity because there is no apparent commitment to the relationship. The chances of acquiring one or more sexually transmitted diseases increase when a person makes cohabitation a pattern and tends to cohabit with multiple partners.
Married couples tend to have a larger social and emotional support circle. This social circle can help the married couple reap long-term emotional as well as material benefits. Cohabiters, on the other hand, tend to engage in short-lived relationships. Therefore, while even cohabiters might also draw some similar emotional benefits, these benefits do not last long.

By: James Walsh

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James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com

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