Connecting With Your Child

If you have never experienced being around someone who genuinely thinks that you are wonderful, you are going to find it hard to imagine how incredible that feels. Unconditional love is so freeing, you can risk failing because you feel safe and loved. It is therefore important to let your children know that you think they are wonderful, no matter what they do.

Many things can affect the way we connect with our children. Our perception of them changes according to want we want or need at that particular time. We are emotional beings and so we can get annoyed or frustrated by our children’s behaviour. We expect too much from them at times and also too much of ourselves.

It is worth remembering that all a child wants and needs is to be loved and accepted for who they are. We need to see them as the beautiful human beings that they really are. Remember that it is their behaviour that is annoying you, not them as a person. Try also to remember what is was like when you knew nothing yourself, when you had to totally rely on someone older and wiser to guide you through.

In order to connect with a child in your care you need to like them and accept them. As adults it is easy to crush a child’s natural spirit, we need to answer their many questions. The world is a wondrous place to them and they see themselves as amazing, until we tell them otherwise!

Try to avoid the phrase ‘Because l said so’ when answering your child’s many questions, they will just keep asking until you give them an answer they can understand. It is normal for them to ask about everything, remember, the more you teach them the more they’ll know! Knowledge is a beautiful thing!

Another frustrating aspect for a very small child is not being able to make many choices for themselves, imagine what that is like! If you can, give them small choices. What game would they like to play with you in the time that you have allocated to spend with them? Let them choose, even if it’s a game you do not like. If you always have things your own way how can you explain to your child that expecting to get your own way all the time is wrong? Teach them to be unselfish.

By: Julia Helsby

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Julia Helsby has been teaching children one way or another for over 20 years. As well as having as much fun with her own children, she has worked as a teaching assistant and a personal tutor for 8 years. Julia has written her own book on parenting skills. To download it FREE visit the link below. www.julia-helsby.com Julia also has a free weekly newsletter which you can read on the site