Coping With The Loss Of A Spouse During The Holiday Season

Dealing with the loss of a spouse is difficult enough on a day-by-day basis, but it is even more difficult when the holidays roll around. The pain and loss of losing a spouse can be magnified if you have children who will be suffering that grief and loss with you. The anger, sadness, and loneliness can change a wonderful time of the year into an endless cycle of grief if you do not learn some ways to help you cope. There are a few things you can do that can help you survive the holidays and give you the strength you need to help your children if need be.

One of the first things you need to do when coping with the loss of your spouse during the holidays is take care of yourself. Make sure you do not give yourself too much free time as this can lead you to drown yourself in your thoughts about your deceased spouse and can magnify the pain. On the other hand, do not take on too much and end up burning yourself out psychologically. Be sure to get plenty of sleep if possible and to try and eat better than you normally do. This will all help get you in a better frame of mind.

Many people experiencing grief try to bury their feelings and avoid thinking of their spouse as an attempt to cope. Pretending that everything is okay or that nothing is wrong is only going to compound the problem. Instead of trying to forget that your spouse has passed away, acknowledge that you have lost that person and that you miss them very much. Have that discussion with your children if you have any and feel free to cry together and then work on sharing memories together that are positive.

One of the best ways to cope with the loss of a spouse is to spend time with your in-laws if they are still alive. Spend some quality time with them swapping stories about your loved one. Make sure to share stories of joy and ones that make you laugh so that you can build new memories and deepen these relationships by your sharing.

Make a new family tradition that seeks to honor your spouse. Instead of continuing the same old traditions, attempt to create a new one where you can all remember your loved one.

By: Renee Wood, MSW

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Renee Wood founded The Comfort Company in 2000. She is a social worker that has helped families deal with the loss or pending loss of a child, as well as aiding patients in the end-stage of renal failure. The gifts provided by The Comfort Company offer memorial ideas as well as hope for healing hearts.