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Creating The Change You Want – Step 1b – How To Discover What We Want By Working With Inner Parts
But what if you have a discord of voices competing for your attention? Conflicting Desires Sometimes it's hard to decide what we want because we have conflicting desires or needs – or conflicting dislikes. Those conflicting voices can cancel each other out or leave us in a state of paralysis. We want this but we also want its opposite. Or we see things we don't want on both sides of the equation. Everything has a plus and a minus, and making a list of pros and cons can help you see your choices more objectively. Another approach is to work directly with those inner voices. Working with Inner Parts The conflicting desires we have can be seen as the expression of different inner parts of our personality. Each part is motivated by a true need or drive. For instance, part of you may want to expand and have new experiences, but another part may find that scary and want to keep you safe. A wonderful way of working with these varied voices or inner parts is to simply let each one have its say, expressing what it wants and doesn't want, what it is afraid of, and then have each one listen to the other part and its point of view. You can ask each part what it wants the other part to know about it, and how it wishes the other part were different. By doing this, it is possible to arrive at greater clarity, understanding, and even reconciliation. I find the easiest way to do this by myself is through writing, letting each voice alternately “control” my pen. With a partner or facilitator it can be most powerful to speak the voices out loud. To help you access these parts and their nuances, you could add the body-oriented approach of Focusing. You would then go inside to feel the inner presence or “felt sense” of each part, how it feels in your body. You would be open and accepting to each and let what it wants and needs come to you as a knowing from the felt body-sense of it. This helps you get closer to what these parts really feel, beyond what your mind knows. However, just letting them “speak” spontaneously will often bring to consciousness surprising truths. In this way, by working through the apparent conflicts in your desires, you can discover what your true desires are, and which are defenses trying to protect you. You can also discover what you truly don't want, are ready to let go of, and why. If you find you have genuinely conflicting desires, see if there's a middle way that will encompass them both. Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com To access all 8 Powerful Steps to Creating The Change You Want, download Tomar Levine's Free Report at creatingchangereport.com |
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