Cyber Relationships: Reasons Why Most Don’t Work

You fell in love with him because he typed all the right words. A few love letters sent by way of a computer and he is all you can think about. In your head, the connection you feel as your fingers type is real. Or is it? Can you truly love another person just by typing words with a keyboard to a screen? It is highly unlikely but not impossible. Part of the attraction is not knowing (in a real sense) to whom you are chatting, and wanting to know more. This can be very alluring but will it work? Here are four reasons why it may not.

In love with a dream

In some sense, he may have created an image that may not match who he really is. Subconsciously many cyber lovers craft a character they hope will appeal to the other. In a sense they create the ideal dream man or woman. In most cases, the person you are captivated with simply took his time and typed what you wanted to read. He figured out what you desire in a man, and simply became your desire. More often than not, he is pretending to be something he is not. Even the pictures he sent you were carefully edited. Before you know it, you are in love with the dream of finally meeting your ideal man.

False Sense of Intimacy

How well can you really know someone when your only means of communication is through a computer? More often than not, emotions are faked. Let’s face it, just because someone puts on a smiley face doesn’t mean they are really smiling. You can’t look into his eyes, hear his voice and match his intonation with his body language. Deep down inside you must know that love does not rise out of typed words. It requires real human interaction and the use of all five senses.

Real trust must be earned

The most common misconception is about trust. How can you truly trust someone you never actually met? Real trust has to be earned and it not recommended that you fully trust a specter on a computer. Although your cyber lover may very well be sincere, and he really tries to say what he means. However the anonymity of the internet seems to corrupt even the most honest. If you decide to meet be extra careful. The secrecy of the Internet makes it much more dangerous than meeting someone in a club or a bar. Those meetings can bring their own dangers but at the very least you can see the person, not just read his carefully written words, or hear his carefully worded conversation over a telephone.

Expectations too high

Remember you don’t know his true character. Beware about constructing images of him because if you ever meet, most likely he will not live up to the picture you shaped in your head. Chances are your relationship will never survive the disappointment.

By: D.E. Boone

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D.E. Boone is an award winning author. He is the creator of most the original book of its kind, "Legs Talk: A Modern Girl’s Dating Tale. Boone often looks at why our field of dating is so bumpy. He writes about life's personal challenges with a blend of sincerity, candor and of course, humor! To learn more, visit: www.Legs-Talk.com