Dealing With Bereavement During The Holidays

Grieving the loss of a loved one during the holidays is normal, although it can be very emotionally draining and painful. Many people who have lost a loved one and deal with holiday grief tend to dread the holiday season’s approach and become more depressed the closer it gets. There are times when the anticipation of the upcoming holiday season produces worse feelings of loss, grief, loneliness, and depression than the actual holiday itself. You do not have to just sit idly by and suffer with grief. There are steps you can take to help yourself heal and to cope with the emotional pain you experience during the holidays.

Plan out your days so that you can stay busy and not have too much time on your hands to sit and think about your loss. Now this does not mean pretend it never happened or bury your feelings. Keeping busy is simply a way to engage your mind so that you do not constantly think of the loss you have experienced. Make a list of the things you want to do and like to do. Try and avoid activities that might bring back some of the painful memories of your loss. Discuss the different traditions your family participates in during the holidays and ask that you change some of them or just not do them at all for a while.

While it is important to stay busy, make sure that you do not overbook yourself with things to do. Do not attempt to do all of the holiday activity planning or shopping on your own. Dealing with the emotional stress of the grief may leave you exhausted. Heed your body’s warning and take some time off of work and activity planning to get some needed rest. The holidays are exhausting enough as it is, but when you add emotional stress to the mix it can leave you drained and depleted.

Create a memorial of some type for the loved one you have lost. You could put a picture of your deceased loved one in a special place and light candles. You can tell your favorite holiday story involving the individual over a family meal. Share all of the fond memories you have of the individual with your family and friends and celebrate that person’s life rather than dwelling on their passing. You could even have a special ornament made with the person’s picture and give them out as gifts to other family members.

By: Renee Wood, MSW

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Renee Wood founded The Comfort Company in 2000. She is a social worker that has helped families deal with the loss or pending loss of a child, as well as aiding patients in the end-stage of renal failure. The gifts provided by The Comfort Company offer memorial ideas as well as hope for healing hearts.