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Death Holds No Fear: Believe In Yourself!
An Interview With Jack Adams M.A. Churchill Fellow Project Director HumanRightsTV Jack Adams has had what many would regard as a topsy turvy sort of a life. There cannot be many men who have travelled into the heart of the Caves of Lascaux, worked with indigenous peoples in Australia, studied and worked both in Cambridge and Oxford and spent many years homeless. A self confessed "Rogue Elephant", Adams sense of reality, some would say his grasp of reality, is somewhat idiosyncratic. I met with Jack in a coffee house in North London where he told me all about his philosophy of life: "If you do not recognise the truth in the idea that everyone at some time is paralysed by the fear of death then you are truly a scary person who will not really need to read any further. Being human is conditioned by the fact of our ability to realise our own mortality, to know that one day we will die. Whilst the moment of first realisation can be terrifying that instant of recognition is actually about a transition into sentient consciousness. I remember my moment very well. I was a young child, certainly older than three years of age as we were in our home in Chingford, Essex. We had moved there sometime before my fourth birthday. I would also be younger than six years of age as my baby sister had not been born at the time of this memory. I was lying in my bed one night and struggling to go to sleep. I was and remain someone who doesn't go to sleep easily before the dawn chorus starts. As I lay there casting thoughts around I realised that one day I would die, one day I would exist no more and I was truly terrified in that moment. I could sense and feel a moment of non-existence, as I saw it then, and a deep horror grasped me. In panic I ran downstairs to my parents sobbing in fear. When they asked me what was wrong I told them "I don't want to die!" I wasn't blessed with the best of parents in many ways, my father was a man who thought children were an outward symbol of his virility and success but otherwise of no use and my mother found it difficult to look away from the television. Their response to a very young traumatised child was to tell me to stop being so silly "Everyone has to die one day, now go back to bed." Needless to say I found very little comfort in this response and remained in the grip of the fear of death for many years. At nights I would be quietly trying to go to sleep and suddenly vividly imagine my own non-existence. This is, of course, quite a ridiculous proposition because non-existence cannot possibly be "imagined". However, this problem aside, in this moment of imagination the deep unresolved terror inside would re-surface and my whole being would become paralysed. I am sharing this with you all because it is my own belief that everyone who is truly a sentient being makes this transition of awareness. As I have said, whilst the moment is scary what it represents is actually something quite beautiful. In this awareness of mortality the individual is seeing themselves as something with limits, a consciousness contained, a part of the multi-verse and not the multi-verse itself. This separation is crucially important in the healthy development of a human mind because once achieved the knowledge of specific individuality allows for other people to exist within your space. Perhaps this is a primary experience in differentiating between a human identity and a sociopathic identity. What is certain is that this realisation awakens the spiritual journey in all of us. Perhaps it doesn't happen in the same way for every human being but it is the knowledge of the finite which leads to the search for infinity. Elegantly we then find a circle of knowledge; the transition from no fear of death to the fear of death leads to the spiritual journey which ultimately leads to no fear of death. Many heavens and countless hells have been propositioned on the basis of this fear of death. Whatever your own particular belief, whatever mythology you hold dear to support your psyche in the face of this mortal challenge is your own choice and your right to espouse. Personally, I do not believe either in the traditional monotheistic mythologies, the older indigenous mythologies or the later concoctions of mixed metaphors. The latter appear to me to satisfy those who cannot retain the past ideas but are uncertain of new ideas. My own belief rests firmly and squarely on myself and provides me with all the warmth and grace I need to sleep well at night. This self belief is not about a grand ego or a reckless and anti-social selfish incarnation. I am talking about a realisation of the inherent beauty we all represent and an appreciation of the fact that we are part of something much greater than our own individual experience. The lens through which I focus this viewpoint is science and I am definitely not squimish about stating this. I realise there are many out there who would decry science as a means of spiritual understanding but, for me, that is just a misunderstanding between conflicting mythologies. Yes, please read that again, I am saying that science is in fact a mythology just as I say that Christianity is a mythology. So the chances are now that I have successfully enticed a majority of my readership into furore if not straightforward rebellion. The monotheists claiming their mythology is a religion and the true word of God and the scientists claiming their measurements are an impartial description of the multi-verse. Let's deal with the scientists first and allow the Christians time to gather some faggots, a box of matches and a stout pole. Perhaps there is no greater adherent to the mythology of 21st century science than Professor Richard Dawkins. His populist works on genetic theories of evolution are an absolutely wonderful read and as a young man I found them to be inspiring. However there is an insight which Professor Dawkins helped me to realise; a great populist writer does not translate into a great speaker and certainly skill with the quill cannot guarantee a truly perceptive intellect. I attended a lecture by Richard Dawkins in Oxford in 1998 and my excitement before hearing him speak was only matched in scale by the deep, deep disappointment I felt once he had vacated the lecture theatre chased away by questions he struggled to answer. The thesis of his presentation was that if aliens arrived from a distant part of the universe [sic] and looked upon earth they would recognise in Darwin's writings a work of science which is true throughout the universe. His announcement of this position at the beginning of the lecture immediately deflated the emotion of joy I felt at being able to hear him speak. You see in 1601, Bruno was burnt at the stake in St Marks Square in Venice (all in the name of Jesus but certainly not in any spirit he tried to convey) for contradicting the science of the day; he said the Earth moved around the Sun. Admittedly he also said a lot of other things which the priests and bishops were not too keen on but as everyone knew it was an objective fact that the Earth was the centre of the universe, Bruno was clearly a blasphemous philosopher challenging the true reality of God's universe. He had to be burnt alive to sustain God's justice. Just over ten years later Galileo "invents" the telescope, everyone has a good look and suddenly the Earth is going around the Sun. One "objective fact" is replaced by another "objective fact". Our lesson surely learnt then has to be that the idea of objective facts is actually a very tricky concept to maintain. I can hear all the scientists saying "Ahhh, but you don't understand, Galileo was the scientist, he corrected the mistake of religious belief with an empirical measurement. It is an objective fact that the Earth goes around the Sun." Well yes, but all I am saying is that objective fact could change tomorrow with a new scientific "revelation". Not possible! Well that's the same objection they had against Bruno. We had "Big Bang Theory" thirty years ago to "explain" the origins of the universe [sic] but today the scientists involved in cosmology are beginning to question that scenario. What seems impossible today can be science tomorrow. You see, if we accept what we think we know about what it is we actually exist within then we have to also accept that our basis for understanding is very, very precarious. Any idea that we can make bold statements declaring universal truths such as Professor Dawkins was supremely confident to do has to immediately draw into question our intellectual capability. In short, it has to be foolish to declare a truth about something we are wholly unable to define. Without definition there cannot be a sustainable objective truth. Without definition everything has to be subjective. What we know is that we exist in four dimensions; length, breadth, height and time. Everything we see about us is, unsurprisingly, also in those same four dimensions. That is what we archaically call "the universe". The same universe the old monotheistic mythologies tell us God made in seven days. Unfortunately for the man with the white beard the science from the particle collider at Cern shows us that there are many more than four dimensions. The four we see are just the four we are contained within or, more accurately, they are the four in which our individual human consciousness operates. Consequently, as I have been intimating, we exist within a multi-verse but cognitively perceive within a universe. In other words we are only aware of a minute fraction of what is really going on at any one time. Not a startling revelation by any means. Given this gaping hole in our ability to see or know what it is we exist in, given that there are countless billions of galaxies, let alone stars, in what it is we can see and given that it is completely impossible for one person to travel to every point of the little bit we can see....well then, it has to be extremely bold indeed to declare not just that something we theorise on this small speck of dust we call a planet is a universal truth. Science can paint a picture but it can never tell the whole story. If we take the analogy of a painting then science tells us about the colours, it reveals something of the brush strokes but it can never tell us exactly what the canvas is made of, why it was made, how it was made or even why the picture was painted in the first place. In addition, our science is certainly not capable of describing where this particular painting of four dimensions actually hangs, is it in a gallery, is it in a private collection, we can't say because that introduces dimensions which are beyond our experience. However, what our science does reveal is that we are part of something much greater than our own individual lives. When we consider the experiments at Cern, which describe and prod at the other dimensions from which the fundamental particles make up our "universe", we realise that these particles also make up all of the parts of our own bodies. Even our thoughts rest on these structures, we are, as far as we can see, a part of everything else, much more than the four dimensions of our perceptions, a small individual voice which exists in an infinity of structures and possibilities. That is the real beauty of the painting in which we are placed. Perhaps this is all too much for the fragile mind to comprehend or appreciate and if that is so then it is much easier to calm the traumatised child with ideas of a man with a white beard creating everything in a working week. This is what the old mythologies provide, the simple explanation, ideas that do not challenge but sooth. But should we be so limited in our thinking? Can it be enough for the enquiring mind to settle with answers that satisfied humans when the world was still flat and the Earth was the centre of the universe? When times change and knowledge grows surely we should consider our own personal meaning in new and exciting ways rather than rely on the dull promise of a heaven where we spend an eternity singing the praises of the man with a beard? Why not consider a different idea, one based on more up to date information? If the science tells us that we are in a multiverse and we are made up of much more than that which we are aware of then why not see the immense beauty in that idea? Just how amazing are you? Let us also consider that if we were actually aware of all the dimensions and everything that is and was our minds would be like the static on a television when there is no clear image. A constant hissing of un-tuned information, white noise with no individual point of perception just a never ending, never ceasing eternal rush crashing into us and deconstructing all individuality. If we can see that then perhaps we can also see that in the space of our own personal existence a very, very, very small area of the multiverse has been twisted and "pinched up" to create the restriction of perception in four dimensions. This pinched up piece of fabric of the beautiful painting hanging in an unfathomable space is us. In order to create this individuality of experience the tensions across the rest of the painting are immense, this individual fragment cannot last, one day the canvass will take it all back. We do not come out of nothing we are just a momentary creation made up of something eternal. We come out of eternity and we return to it. During the space in between, the part we call our lives, we have the privilege and deep pleasure of being alive and able to individually perceive. We are in many ways the multiverse looking at itself. Take a breath and envision yourself as a moment in time given a uniqueness that has never occurred before and will never occur again and sense the preciousness of the life you have. You are unique. Not unique in the sense of a piece of art work hanging in an unknown gallery but unique in the sense of a set of thoughts and perceptions within an eternity of dimensions. Just to touch such ideas requires a certain mental fortitude and maturity or you could end up traumatised like the child crying that he doesn't want to die. But if you find the strength to feel and sense these ideas then you should find yourself standing in a moment of sheer beauty. Once in that state of beauty you should also realise that you do not need a priest or even a scientist, one to instruct about, the other to educate concerning, to reference the experience of your own individual life. Their mythologies are no longer your own, and yes, all I am describing here is just another mythology for you cannot seriously believe that I am describing reality as it actually is! A mythology is merely a path we follow to help us understand ourselves in a relevant way to the daily experiences of our lives, nothing more, nothing less. We need a mythology because we are fundamentally lost, we cannot know for certain where it is we actually are and we cannot say for certain exactly what it is we actually are. So we tell our stories of how it is we see ourselves and our reality. My own child, dissatisfied with parents who had no viable answers, searched for himself for his own answers. He never gave up because he believed that between the moment of realisation and the moment of his inevitable death he really didn't have anything better to do with his life. Everything else appeared to be an illusion. That search first led to the realisation that he had nothing to fear from death for it was not as unknown as he feared. Surely, before you become alive, are conceived and born, you are not alive, you are in fact dead. Before your life you were dead and really, did that hurt, were you scared? So death itself is not anything more than that which you came from and that to which you return. The space between those two points is the gift of eternity to you, how awesome is that? Stand outside, breath deeply and just look at what you can see, listen to what you can hear, taste what you can taste and feel what you can feel, you are a unique experience, the multiverse looking at itself. So the only question really left is what exactly are you going to do with this gift? Are you going to kill people? Are you going to destroy? Are you going to gather wealth? Are you going to seek power over the minds of the weaker lives? I am not going to judge your decision all I can say is that for my own life I cannot see any path more creative and expressive than trying to be loving, compassionate and forgiving. Inevitably I fail most of the time but I never give up. Between now and when I die what is there that is better to do? Besides, I just enjoy trying and when occasionally I am successful you should see the smile on my soul. Mine Imagine being, Transfixed by a setting sun, Eyes feasting beauty. Beyond a gaze You seeing me. A deep breath inflates a sigh, Pure awe. Somewhere, Stand at precipice, Toes curling crumbly edge. White noise cliff rushes Snow falling to a non-existant point. Powdered waterfall of chalky time Floating away from itself, Loose nano-seconds deconstructing moment. Ledge conscious in the now, Seemingly separate from the spectacle of other, You, the single point. An experience of being Extracting the awe of life. Poem by Jack Adams (2002) (All Intellectual Rights Jack Adams 2011) Pebble Studio London 2011 Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com creativemythology.blogspot.com/2011/03/death-holds-no-fear-believe-in-yourself.html victorianstories.blogspot.com www.humanrightstv.com |
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