Do Cobras, Escaped Or Otherwise, Wear Lanyards? Are You Kidding?

With so much celebrity news recently, it can be exhausting trying to keep up with the jet set. But there is one A-lister who has been captivating our attention recently with out of control antics in New York, all chronicled on Twitter.

Of course we’re talking about the Bronx Zoo’s cobra. Who did you think we meant? The herpetological Houdini’s five-day escape from captivity fascinated much of the world, and the snake’s fictional Twitter feed provided some truly funny moments. So that leads to this month’s celebrity question: Do cobras wear lanyards?

Um, well, in a word, no.

There’s no real hesitation about this one. No “well, maybe if ….” Cobras and lanyards do not mix. Please don’t try this at home. Cobra don’t play that, period.

However, it can be said that quite a few cobra-linked folks do wear lanyards. Lanyards are useful for many purposes in the non-cobra world.

The most obvious probability is that zookeepers wear lanyards. Like many organizations, zoos often require staff members to keep I.D. on their persons. For people working with a bunch of animals – no, not like your office – lanyards can be a great way to keep I.D. visible, yet conveniently out of the way.

Other zoo staff members in, say, the personnel office for example, also are likely to wear lanyards. The need for identification extends beyond the exhibits.

Beyond the zoo staff, lanyards are also a common accessory for journalists who cover events at the zoo. Whether print, broadcast or Web-based, journalists often are identified by press cards held on lanyards. If you’re a photographer waiting to take a glam shot of the celebrity cobra, you don’t have time to waste with lesser forms of I.D. holders. Just remember not to feed the journalists, or they’re liable to follow you home.

Airline personnel also tend to wear lanyards frequently. From pilots to gate attendants and baggage handlers, you want to be able to tell who might be putting snakes on a plane. Lanyards keep I.D. badges front and center.

When it comes to the zoo’s other animals, it’s a bit harder to generalize about wearing lanyards. As with the cobra, some calls are easier than others. The zoo’s mongooses (mongeese?) definitely don’t wear lanyards. Really, have you seen those guys move? At the kind of speed needed to take out a cobra, lanyards would just trip them up. That’s not a good thing when you’re trying to take out a venomous predator. Just ask Rikki Tikki Tavi.

We’ve already established that some other zoo inhabitants, such as aardvarks and giraffes, probably don’t wear lanyards. But with some, such as the gorillas, it might be possible. And any zoo with a Web development team will have code monkeys. Those almost always wear lanyards.

When it comes to snakes wearing lanyards, the words of Sgt. Phil Esterhaus never range truer, whether in the zoo or in the wilds of Manhattan: Let’s be careful out there. And it never hurts to have a mongoose on standby.

By: Andrew McBride

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