When I think about many of the bad decisions I’ve made in my life, I notice that many of them were made when my emotions were very strong. I said things in anger that lost me a very good friend. I fell in love with a house that I couldn't afford, but bought it anyway. I fell for bad business ideas because I was excited about making tons of money with them.
Now, ignoring my emotions would not have been a smart thing to do. But emotions should be kept in their proper place. Emotions are simply a GUIDE, that lets us know we are doing the right things. But we have to be careful that our emotions do not make our decisions for us. Consider these two reasons why this is the case.
First, there will be a spike in emotion initially, but then it dissipates over time. Ideas we were excited about begin to fade, especially when reality sets in. Once I lost that friend, I wished I hadn't spoken in anger, especially after the emotions of the situation wore off.
Second, we can miss what is truly happening in our lives. Once I realized just how large the mortgage payments were and recognized the impact it had on the quality of my life in other areas, I realized the mistake of falling in love with a house. When I realized I wasn’t really interested in that business opportunity, only the cash, then the work it was going to take suddenly seemed very daunting and unpleasant.
You want joy in your life. Avoiding pain is a desire we all have. But you should not let your emotions make your decisions. Emotions are guides, and they tell you the direction to go in.
Instead of speaking out in anger, I should have given my emotions time to settle, then talked about why I felt angry with my friend. Before purchasing the home, I should have waited a little while to seriously think about whether the price was worth the love I felt for the house, and what I would have to sacrifice to get it. Ditto for that business opportunity.
I view high emotions as a warning sign that I am possibly about to render a poor decision. Here’s what you can do to avoid planning founded only on feelings:
1. Delay the decision. If you can, delay until the emotions die down before making your decision. If, once a reasonable amount of time has gone by, you still desire whatever it is, then make the purchase. If the decision can’t be put off for some reason, then at least identify your emotions are powerful, and think carefully about what you are doing. Most decisions, by the way, can usually be put off.
2. Think about other options. Before jumping to a hasty decision, take a look at what other options there are. Perhaps you won't notice it right away, but there is a serious possibility that there are other options that could possibly fit your needs better. Do not allow yourself to be pulled into infinite analysis, but it is a very good plan to find out all these alternatives while you're engaging in the first step above. Make the decision when your feelings are at a average level.
3. Consider the down side. Not everything is perfect, so be sure to look at the flaws in what it is you desire. Be certain that you can realistically be happy with the down sides. Be mindful of the consequences that you do not want to see! Many people start a business when they are excited, then once they recognize the level of work it takes, quickly fall into complacency. This is another great thing to do while you’re executing the first step!
4. Discuss with experts for a reality check. Seek out who has whatever it is you want and find out what they think about it. What’s it really like? Talk to a trusted friend to get their opinion about whether you should proceed. And whatever you do, don’t pass off what they say by saying, "hey, I'm not like that so that doesn’t make sense for me." It might not, however these are very often immediate reactions from your brain to convince you to continue. Your mind wants you to feel good, and doesn’t want anything, not even truth, to kill that good feeling. By the way, this is yet another excellent step to take while you are still doing step one above!
Remember, emotions should be your guide, not decision makers. Keep them grounded in reality, and you will find far more happiness and success than you ever thought you could have!
Jason Kerchner teaches people how to take control of their businesses and lives, and to create the lifestyle they've always wanted. Emotions and decision making is one area that can hold people back or propel them forward. You can learn more strategies about achieving success in business and in life by visiting Jason's blog at JasonKerchner.com.
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