England Contemplates Drunk's Dilemma: To Stand Or Not To Stand?
England's tipple-till-you-topple pub culture faced a new dilemma, as police in Preston, Lancashire, decided that frequenters of the brew houses should sit down while they intoxicate themselves.
Why? After careful measurements, the authorities have determined that mates who are standing have a longer way to drop. So they're more likely to hurt themselves.
Backed by local health officials, the bobbies are hoping to establish a no-standing policy in the drink-till-you-drop hangouts.
How will the jostling crowd adjust to such a hindrance?
There is concern about compliance. First, sitting may inhibit inadvertent socializing. But, almost as troublesome, the same quaff enjoyed while sitting often costs up to twice as much.
Of course, what at first seems an impediment is an opportunity on tap. What if the pubs decided to charge less to tipple while you sit?
Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs."
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