Helping Children Deal With Grief During The Holiday Season

Dealing with grief during the holiday season is a rough emotional experience for anyone, but no one takes it harder than children do. Maybe you or a child you know has lost a parent, sibling, or grandparent and is not dealing well with their emotions during the holidays, as they are constantly reminded of the family member they have lost. Grief can be very difficult with children who may not really understand why they feel the way they feel. You as an adult can greatly impact the life of your own child or of a child you know and help them deal with this grief so they can enjoy Christmas the way children should.

One of the best ways to help a child deal with their grief during this time is to honor what they are feeling and to be sensitive and tender to their emotions. Do not make the child feel like what they are feeling is not important or does not matter. Do not minimize the pain and sadness they are feeling. On the flip side of the coin, try not to be overbearing. Children are far better at coping with tragedies and loss than most adults are. Allow the child to express their feelings and emotions to you. Make yourself available to listen when they need you. This will help them understand that what they feel is valid and real and a part of being a human being. This will go a long way in helping them deal with grief as an adult.

Another great way to help your child deal with holiday grief is to allow them to see your own grief being played out. Let them know that the holiday season is painful for you too. Do not be afraid to cry in front of them and with them. If you attempt to bury your own personal hurts, it sends the message to your children that you should do the same.

Spend time with the child doing something to memorialize the lost loved one in a way that will help them to celebrate their life and at the same time help them get closure. You may want to start some holiday tradition of hanging an ornament with the deceased person’s favorite quote or a picture of the child and the person. Take time to sit and tell stories and remember the good times you shared. This is a great way to help turn those negative feelings into something positive.

By: Renee Wood, MSW

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Renee Wood founded The Comfort Company in 2000. She is a social worker that has helped families deal with the loss or pending loss of a child, as well as aiding patients in the end-stage of renal failure. The gifts provided by The Comfort Company offer memorial ideas as well as hope for healing hearts.