Helping Your Friend Through Divorce

As a kind and supportive friend, you want to be there for your friends when they go through rough times. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to know the best way to help someone who is facing a serious period of upheaval. One of the most difficult experiences that adults can face is the dissolution of their marriages. If someone you know has announced an impending divorce or separation, it is normal to feel worried for them and anxious about how you should react.

The truth is that there is no perfect way to support your friend at this time. For one thing, different people have different needs and desires, so what helps one person may not be useful for another. For another thing, some difficult problems simply do not have reliable or elegant solutions. Divorce is messy; nothing you can realistically do will change that fact. However, you can at least help your friend stay strong through this rough period.

Tips to Keep in Mind

Some basic tips that can help you help your acquaintance include:

Follow your friend’s lead when discussing his or her spouse – When learning about the problems in someone’s marriage, it is natural to take your friend’s side and become angry at his or her spouse. You may even want to help your friend feel better by putting their spouse down or saying things like “Your life is better without him/her.” However, many people still have feelings for their partners even after their relationships end. Your friend may become angry, defensive, or withdrawn if you insist on insulting his or her ex-wife or ex-husband.

Do not push him or her into anything – Of course you want to see a person you care about get their life back on track and become happy as soon as possible. However, there is usually a period of mourning following the end of a relationship. Let your friend take his or her time coping with these changes in his or her life. Do not push new relationships on them or say things like “You need to get over it.”

Be there on rough days – For the first year or so after a divorce or separation, certain times of year are going to be especially rough. If you know your friend is facing a bad day, such as an anniversary or their ex-spouse’s birthday, be sure to make time for them. You may want to schedule some kind of outing to distract them, but only do so if they are interested. If they would rather stay in or even be alone, try to respect their wishes.

The important thing is to be patient with your friend as he or she adjusts to his or her new life. Over time, he or she will begin to heal, and your friendship may be all the stronger for surviving this difficult time.

By: Joseph Devine

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To learn about Florida divorce law, contact the Orlando divorce attorneys of the Schlegel Law Group.