Laughter is undoubtedly good for your health. Sometimes, however, it is hard to break a smile. Monday mornings at work come to mind. Well, here are some quotes that can tackle even the Monday morning blues.
1. Rodney Dangerfield - I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
2. Drew Carey - You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!
3. Steven Wright - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
4. W.C. Fields - was a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her.
5. Edward Abbey - A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
6. Steven Wright - I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
7. Rodney Dangerfield - My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
8. George Bush - Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness.
9. Bill Maher - Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
10. Rodney Dangerfield - I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
11. Steven Wright - Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. Dave Attell - You ever get drunk and pass out... or as I call it 'time travel'?
13. George Bush - To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say: You, too, can be president of the United States.
14. Dave Attell - Let's say you're in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don't know, you have too many teeth.
15. Bill Cosby - A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Life can be serious, but don't put too much stock in the pressures of the moment. Tomorrow is a new day and somewhere, somehow, someone will say something hilarious.
