So you finally found the person of your dreams and now are a firm believer of the phrase - matches are made in heaven. Things are going well; you have a 6 digit income, a beautiful house, and your engagement is just around the corner… Indeed things are going really well!! One fine day you are out with your buddies in a bar, having a good time, you get a few tippers from around the table – something about living while you still can… you yield. The next day when you open your eyes the roof is not quite what you remember, and….well, neither is the person sleeping next to you!! Fortunately you are one of those people who have a conscience, and now you just don’t know how you would feel when your special one gives you that special look. A cold sweat forms on your forehead and a spate of questions inevitably follow ……Have I betrayed him/her? Will he/she forgive me? Am I destined for hell??....Before long your special one starts to notice you are not the same anymore. You avoid him/her; don’t talk as much, cracks start showing up in your relationship, your loved one starts to suspect you, soon enough your sweetheart is seeing another ‘friend’.
If any of the above-stated seems likely, fear not! The solution to your problem is simple and you might be even pondering over it. It’s called honesty! Yes it’s that simple. Before you start saying; cummonnn….. let me offer an explanation.
Lets rewind your story back to the time it began. Your search for your partner must have begun with a search for trust and security. Someone you could go back to after having fought the world, some one you could share all your thoughts and feelings knowing they were safe. Notice that you went out on a quest for trust, which requires honesty. You expected honesty from your partner that’s why you selected him/her. It goes without saying that your partner expected the same from you. Here you realize that your relationship was founded on honesty and that’s what made your life so perfect. However now it feels as if a crack has appeared on the foundation of your just that perfect life, a few deviations from happiness and joy seem likely and repairable, but trust?
So where have you gone wrong? In doing something that wasn’t expected or in not revealing your act to the person you love? Or both? Perhaps you did go wrong in having slept with another person but now you know better, also there is precious little that you can do about it. However the second question is not beyond a fix. If your relationship was ever meant to be then any confession of honesty won’t break it. In confessing you will ask for forgiveness and affirm to yourself and to your beloved that you have decided to become a better person. Someone who is truly in love with you will definitely appreciate your effort and accept it.
Finally if you are still not convinced, then a little probabilistic look into the problem might make you see daylight. What if you go to a party with your partner and you “accidentally” meet that other person you had a “good time” with. You surely don’t want to be in that situation now do you?? Bottom line – Be honest, it will help you in the long run, even if it creates a few hassles now.
