If you are in a toxic relationship, how can you tell? Here are 6 clues that you may be in a toxic relationship:
1. Your partner puts in you down (in private or in front of others)
2. Your partner may say that they love you, but their actions don’t support it.
3. If your partner is controlling – they read your email or show up at places you are to check up on you.
4. They attempt to make you completely dependent on them
5. You notice that you have changed things about yourself to please them.
Toxic people make you feel sick just being around them. So, how do people end up in these toxic relationships? Why would you, or anyone for that matter, want to be around someone that puts them down and controls them?
There are some deep psychological reasons for this. Firstly, a toxic relationship goes through a cycle. It starts off with the honeymoon period, followed by the “blow up”, then the reconciliation. Then the cycle starts again.
Every relationship starts with a type of infatuation stage. But, as the relationship develops you begin to realize that you are in a relationship. By this time, it is really difficult to get out.
Many people in these toxic relationships grew up in toxic homes. They enter into toxic relationships as a way of replicating the patterns of their childhood – not even really knowing what they are doing! They may not even know any better. Others have convinced themselves they don’t deserve to happy. Some people just like taking care of people.
Whatever the reason may be, you have to get out of your toxic relationship. People who stay in these types of relationships tend to have low self esteem or suffer from depression.
You DO have choices – you need to stand up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the “toxic” partner has convinced you that everything is your fault. By lowering your self confidence it makes it more difficult to walk away from the relationship.
Therapy groups have helped countless couples get out or redefine these sickening relationships.
The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of the toxic relationships, and develop a healthy relationship. Others leave the relationship entirely and form better, healthier relationships with other people.
You need to decide if saving the relationship is worth it, or if you should walk away. If you aren’t willing to walk away you’ll never be able to heal.
Once you are free from the dependency that is the core of the relationship, you can decide what you need from the emotional connection. Don’t nag – say things like “I need your support”, “I need your love”, or “I need your truthful opinion.”
We all have needs, and a relationship is a two way street. If you don’t get what YOU need, the other person should know that you are willing to walk. Period.
A toxic relationship is only going one way, and the path leads away from you. You can change that – take the power into your own hands.
It is important to remember that you can save your relationship even if things seem hopeless. Please, don't give up. This article is a great start, but for a step-by-step formula that is guaranteed to win back the heart of your sweetheart, click here. It saved my relationship and I would recommend it anyone.
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