How To Effectively Negotiate Child Custody After A Divorce

Divorce is never pleasant, even among those that part on the most amicable of terms. Child custody especially can be a tough issue, as parents can often resort to fighting over custody simply for the sake of fighting their ex-spouse.

And it may seem that child custody disputes can continue even after a divorce is final, since circumstances may change with both or either parent. This means that negotiations may need to be opened all over again, months or even years after a divorce. How to handle this?

Negotiate, Don't Demand

When you negotiate with a former spouse, do remember that you want to negotiate and not demand. It's easy to think that a change in your circumstances should be accommodated, but you may be asking him or her to disrupt their schedule and routine in order to accommodate you. This means you should be open to working out a new situation rather than simply demanding things go your way.

Sometimes even a simple gesture, such as offering to drive the children back and forth more than you do now or trading off a holiday throughout the year, can go a long way toward having your ex-spouse consider your new situation.

Get Things in Writing

When you do negotiate a new custody arrangement, it's good to get everything in writing so that things hold up in court in case there's a dispute. This doesn't need to be a long, fancy document full of technical legal terms but it should spell out everything clearly and have the signatures of both spouses.

Also, it's good to consult with an attorney about filing this type of paperwork with the court. Divorces are not just personal matters but they often involve court orders, and child custody may be one area in which the court has made a decision. There may be reasons why custody arrangements cannot be changed without a judge's order, such as one spouse only being allowed supervised visitation.

And if the judge does not need to "okay" any new arrangement, an attorney can be sure your new agreement paperwork is at least filed with the court so that there are no misunderstandings or disputes about it at a later date. This article is not intended to provide legal advice in replacement of a lawyer.

By: Frank V. Smith

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