Have you ever had a tough time letting go of a lost love? Have you ever been angry at someone who broke up with you years ago? Has there ever been a past relationship where you never understood why you broke up in the first place?
I don’t think I will ever forget the first time I fell in love with someone. I was in college and I fell for the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. The relationship that developed couldn’t have been more perfect. I really believed that this was the woman I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with.
We went on Christmas break only to see each other again in a few weeks. Little did I know that things were going to be very different the next time we saw each other. The ‘Love of My life” had a surprise for me that I didn’t see coming..
The next time my girlfriend and I met, she told me that our relationship was a total mistake and that she was going back to her old boyfriend.. She said that she realized over Christmas break that she loved her ex and that she wanted to marry him.
I was, of course, in utter disbelief. I couldn’t help to keep asking, why? What was interesting is that my inquiry led me to some pretty interesting things.
The one thing I had to realize was that the breakup wasn’t my fault. I knew I couldn’t change things at this point except move on with my life. I knew she was choosing a relationship filled with drama and misery instead of love.
Years later, she came to town looking for me. We met and discussed the breakup. She told me that she was immature and that she wanted to do things like her parents and marry right after graduation from college. Unfortunately, I was not in that position to take that step with her yet.
At this point I was happy that the relationship was complete and we both found a sense of closure. We went our different ways and haven’t seen each other since. What I found out 20 years later wasn’t the final page of the last chapter of the book on us.
One day, I happened to stumble across a web site that specializes in finding people. I found a few people I went to high school with. I then entered the information I remembered about “My Lost Love.” Bingo, I found her!. She was divorced and re-married with children. And…I was angry about what I was finding out about her!
What was missing here was that I never took responsibility for my end of the relationship. As much as I was making her wrong for breaking up with me years ago, I was actually wrong about my choice in girlfriend. For years, in my mind, I was the victim and I acted like it when I read about her!
This was baggage I could no longer carry around with me and I realized that I was. I finally put her and our relationship where it belonged in the past. The truth has finally set me free!
Written by David H. Paredez @2008 – All Rights reserved
David H. Paredez is the CEO of You Improve Books where he offers practical and stimulating relationship self help books to help you achieve healthy, happy relationships with your mate. Visit his site at www.youimprove.com
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