How To Help Your Children To View Themselves Positively

The challenge is to help your children to view themselves positively. This is helped by giving praise, though not indiscriminate praise, and through positive parenting skills. If you keep telling them they are wonderful and every single thing that they do is brilliant, they will eventually come to suspect that you have a hidden agenda for saying so, and their self-esteem will immediately take a nosedive.
Help them take pleasure in their small achievements and to understand that they have done well. When you feel that they've displayed or effected one of the goals on your list, for instance in sharing something fairly, say, 'Well done - you were very good at sharing your toys today,' or 'Well done - I'm sure you felt quite shy when you went to the party, but you soon made friends and helped everyone have a good time.' Try to illustrate what you are giving them praise for, so that there's no doubt about the behavior you're pleased with.

If you have more than one child, try to make regular times for giving each child some individual, undivided attention, and make sure that the others understand and respect this time.

Try to get your child or children to understand that mere are times when they get your total, undivided attention and there may be times when they have to share your attention with other people or other commitments. There has to be flexibility and adaptability, there has to be 'give and take' on both sides.

How to Ensure Feelings of Emotional Security? Children who have good, secure feelings are usually at ease with themselves and others. Of course, situations happen in families that do take away security from children, but in the main, children who ire listened to, whose views are taken on board and respected, seem to grow in emotional security, whereas children who are constantly criticized learn to underrate their own abilities and become fearful and hesitant.

If you show your children that you're interested in them, what they are doing or thinking and how they're reacting to the situations around them - whatever those situations are - they'll handle them more confidently and be more emotionally secure. And children who are emotionally secure are better equipped for learning.

Reaching Towards Independence. Children have to be allowed some independence in life or they will remain dependent on others for ever. This means they have to feel free to get things wrong and make mistakes; otherwise, how can they learn what is right? The hardest part is probably for you, in letting them go - but it is only this letting go that will allow them to build the confidence they will need to become a 'separate' person.

By: Thomas Sector

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