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Human Development: Independence Is The First Step
Based on my studies, my experiences and my own reflections, I see human development as a journey – a steep climb from dependence to independence to interdependence to transcendence. This lifetime journey begins at birth, when we are dependent on our parents and other loved ones. The process of becoming physically independent is almost automatic with age. It is a natural part of growing up, and for most of us it comes easily. As we pass through childhood and adolescence and become adults, many of us also manage to become financially independent – and that usually takes some concentrated effort. We take up jobs, move out of our parents’ homes, get married and have children – steps toward taking responsibility for our own lives as well as for the family members who are now dependent on us. For many, our quest for independence ends here. However, being human is not only about physical and material development. We need to develop emotionally and intellectually. Emotionally, many of us remain dependent – letting situations around us control our emotions. We cannot claim to be independent when we still allow ordinary events – traffic jams, forgetful spouses, colleague missing deadlines at work, unreasonable clients – to trigger feelings of anger, frustration, helplessness or despair. If we are not masters of our emotions, can we really be masters of our own destiny? Emotional maturity or independence is not about trying to control what happens to us. Rather it is about how we respond to what happens to us. It is freedom of choice in how we react to adverse circumstances. We can lash out, as we might have done as children, or we can choose to be reasoned and thoughtful and positive about moving forward. In my workshops on discovering one’s true calling, I borrow a tool from ‘The Art of Possibility’ by Ben and Rosamund Zander. I ask participants to invoke the feeling of ‘How Wonderful’ whenever they are in a bad situation. For example, imagine you are late to an important meeting because a flight was delayed. Can you experience it as a wonderful moment? Imagine your child is embarrassing you by throwing a tantrum in public. Can you see that as wonderful? Most participants look at me as if I’m crazy. “That would be like lying to myself,” the say. “Even if I say a situation isn’t so bad, it’s still a bad situation. It doesn’t go away.” As we workshop this idea further, they concede that they are more likely to come up with creative responses when they are in a good mood than when they are angry and upset. They also see how a frustrating situation could actually be a wonderful opportunity to learn something new or generate some creative ideas. They walk away thinking, “Hmm, I wonder if that might work. I’m going to try it…” Moving on to intellectual development, de Tocqueville remarked on how Americans have so little independence of mind but so much freedom of discussion. I don’t think this lack of independence in thought is unique to Americans. It’s a worldwide phenomenon. Starting from our schooldays, we are taught answers to questions that we don’t even have. We are led to believe that there is one right answer and that there is some expert somewhere who has figured it out. As we grow into adults, we are brainwashed by the media, the marketing messages and the political propaganda; we live in the comfort of never having to exercise our intellect. In the Middle Ages, religion forced humanity into a set of beliefs. In today’s times, we accept the supposed wisdom of scientists and pseudo-scientists - like economists - without much question. Intellectual independence calls for applying discerning thought to how we interpret the world around us. It calls for accessing our moral compass and fundamental principles, as Mark Twain said, in generating the appropriate actions. It calls for integrity and alignment in thought, word and deed. Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com Sudhakar Ram is Chairman and Co-Founder of IT solutions provider, Mastek. He believes that creating a sustainable world would require a shift in the “constructs” that drive our attitudes and actions. The New Constructs is his initiative to leverage Connected Intelligence in realizing the Connected Age. |
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