My husband and I had tried to have a baby of our own for about three years. Pregnancy occurred before but, miscarriages were the result. It made us feel better at least knowing that we were able to get pregnant. It became a game of prayer and trials. While we were going through this ordeal, we thought about adoption. We came to three major hurdles: the first was money, the second, love, and the third was the adoption process. I will try to explain what I mean.
Our money was stretched a little too thin. We were working ourselves out of a financial debt because of dealing with our money in the wrong way when we started out. I wanted to wait a little while but my spouse was not in agreement with me. He felt that having a baby when things were tight would be better than no child at all and having money. We both agree that children are much more signifigant to life than money is. We also agreed that having a child would be a sacrifice that both of us were ready to make. While we were all right with this line of thinking, the adoption agency might not hold these same ideals. There is also a fee to consider and I felt that we did not have the money now.
When we first started talking about adoption, it was not something I took seriously. I really wanted my own children. It made me feel comfortable thinking about my own child and how my little girl (of course) would be just like me. The more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that I could think of an adopted child in the same way. Love comes from inside and is not a condition of family relationships. The thought that I was saving a child would give me a good feeling about being a parent. I could be their hero.
Something else that bothered me was that while adoption is what I wanted, the process of adopting was difficult. I had heard many stories about the amount of time and money it would take. One of our close friends went through it and the birth mother came back to try to take the child away from her after a few months. I could not deal with all of that. If I was going to go through the process, I want it to be more certain. There were also stories of parents who adopted children internationally and the cost was as simple as an airplane ticket. It could not be that easy, could it?
The truth is that I had not learned what was necessary to make any inferences about the cost, love, and the process to follow. I am sure of the fact that when God gives me a child no matter where it comes from, I will love it unconditionally. Writing this story is the first step in dealing with the truth. There is also a website in the works for me to go and become part of the stories of many others who are thinking about or who have already adopted a child. I suggest that you write a few words down and send it in to any place that will post it for you. It will be of help to someone and you do not need to be a professional writer. What you have been through is enough.
You can also find more info on child adoption domestically and adoption foster.ChildAdoptionGuide.org is a comprehensive resource to help couples with the adoption process.
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