As adults, many of us want it all. We want the home, the trips, the kids, the community involvement, the career, and the acclaim that goes along with it. Society is now telling us that there is no reason why we can’t have it all and the economy is forcing us to go for it. In our haste, we create and then ignore the victims.
The victims, of course, are the children who are cared for by people other than their parents or left alone to raise themselves and make the mistakes that they are prone to make. The lack of guidance insures that these mistakes will be made. Many times, mistakes are intentionally made in an attempt to get the attention that they deserve.
People who care for children, other than their parents, often have good intentions, but, in the end, your children are sources of revenue and they don’t take the time to get to know your kids so that they can reach them and prevent them from making the mistakes that they will make, often with dire consequences. Instead, thinking that they are doing their jobs, they will readily tell you about your child’s mistakes and expect you to do something about it. Obviously, if you wanted your children to make mistakes, you would have just left them alone.
“We have strict rules here”, they say, or, “We have a zero tolerance here”. Children are not responsible for the mistakes that they make or for following the rules. Adults are responsible for keeping children from making mistakes and insuring that they follow the rules. When a child gets punished for a mistake or breaking the rules, an adult has failed. The adults should be asked, why did you let them do that?
Along with our quest to have it all, we have allowed the mistakes that children have available to make to become more serious. Drugs, sex, and violence are now mandatory subjects in our schools. We are busy and we hope that some one will take care of these things. While we hope, the schools pass out condoms and inform you when your child is caught with weapons or drugs at school. No one takes the time to get to know the kids that they are responsible for, nurture them, and prevent mistakes before they happen. Kids only deal with these issues by making mistakes because no one has taught them and it is the only available option to them for learning.
Children need a lot more than food, shelter, clothing, and toys. They need more than an adult who will get them out of trouble when they get into it. They need someone to get to know them individually, love them, and talk to them in the one way that they will understand and learn before they make mistakes. Every single child’s brain is different and there is no one way to communicate that will reach them all.
No one will do this except for his or her parents. No matter how much you want it all, you are an adult and, because you decided to have children, it is your responsibility to do this. Get to know your children. You owe it to them.
For more articles on parenting go to ewebsmith.com/parent/parentindex.html
Web Smith has been writing and developing documentation for technology companies for over 30 years. He has been the founder of 7 technology companies and created the collateral that launched them. He is the parent of a special needs child.
He is an industry consultant and currently owns ewebsmith.com, ewebtelecom.com, and ewebproducts.com. He runs his own copywriting business from websmith.com/copywriting
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