Keeping children out of the middle of arguments between adults is a good goal. Children don't need to know about causes of disagreements or hear their parents shouting. And they certainly don't need to be put in the middle of that kind of altercation, they need to know they are loved by their parents.
Having children be a part of this loud discussion may make them think you're going to get divorced when you know that's not what the future holds. Children don't have the level of understanding you do, they see it as a big, bad thing, rocking their world. You have to realize it's not good to have them involved due to their lack of maturity.
This may be an issue where your spouse has verbalized or acted in such a way as to upset you. So you may need someone to talk to, not necessarily professional counseling, but just someone to listen to you. Pick a friend or family member to discuss it with, not your child.
It is important to realize this too, even with grown children. Believe it or not they really don't want to hear negatives about either one of their parents at any age. Even adult children find it very difficult to listen when one parent is constantly bad mouthing the other. And if you do separate or divorce, encourage your children to maintain a relationship with your ex. Don't dig for gossip or other information about your spouse's life either. If you need information about your ex then hire a private investigator, but don't use your children as a means to gain information or to dig dirt. They will resent you if you put them in the middle.
Marriage difficulties are to be handled by adults, the two of you, friend, family or counselors. Never put that burden on your children, it is not their responsibility. Your relationship with them will be the better for it.
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