As I was sitting in front of my computer this morning, having my coffee and checking my emails, I received one from Barbara, a dear friend of mine. We grew up together in Missouri, and have known each other since High School. She was the most beautiful and nicest girl you’d ever want to meet.
She was raised in a very strict Catholic household. She wasn’t even allowed to date! I remember her telling me that she wanted to go to the prom something awful but she was so scared to even approach her father with that question. Being as I was her best friend, I helped her through it, and she told her father that there was this really nice guy named Lee that was in her classes throughout the years in school who had asked her to go to the prom with her. He had already enlisted in the Air Force (her father being retired Army really thought he was a bright individual for doing so and had a great future ahead), and he actually let her go to the prom! Yet still never let her go out on another date after.
It then…turned out that Lee got orders for Alaska!!!! Barbara told her father the bad news and told him that graduation was approaching and she really didn’t want to not ever see Lee again…she really liked him. As a matter-of-fact, Lee asked Barbara to join him in Alaska and marry him, so she could either start dating other men, or marry him. What a dilemma for a very strict parent. He only was as strict as he was because he loved her immensely, and wanted her to be happy, so he threw her the most beautiful wedding that she had always dreamed of. I was there! It was really nice, she didn’t only have one priest marry them, but three on the altar! wow
Well now, once they lived together it turned out…they couldn’t live together. She told me that they had soooo many arguments. He was a slob, left his clothes all over the place, never hung them up, etc., etc., etc. Then by the time they were together almost 3 years, he became very abusive. I specifically remember speaking with her late one Thanksgiving. They had gone to a friend’s house on the base for dinner and she had forgotten something, so she had to run back home to the next street over to get it. He followed her shortly after she had left, yelled at her for being such a dumb a** (he was extremely verbally and emotionally abusive) for forgetting it, grabbed her by her beautiful long hair from behind and slammed her down onto the ground.
Every time she would try and run for a phone to call for help, he would yank it out of the wall and throw it across the room. Every time she would run for the door, he would grab her by her hair and pull her back. She even tried running to their basement just to get away from him to let him cool off, and he pushed her down the flight of stairs. After he did cool off though, he was always very very sorry. He would always buy her flowers and jewelry and cry. Then as time went on, it got to the point where he didn’t care anymore. To others, he was a really nice guy, the perfect angel, but not behind closed doors. I told her she had to get away. Life is too short for anyone to be living like this, and we both feared for her life. I sent her a lipstick pepper spray for Christmas that year. He never knew what it was because I had taken it out of the package, and made her a nice little basket with other cosmetics. The very next day, he had threatened to kill her. She sprayed him in the face with her lipstick pepper spray, and was able to escape in the heat of the moment…finally!
I am telling you this story because it is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This is happening all around us. You may not be aware that your neighbors or co workers, or maybe even friends may be going through a similar situation. The holidays are soon approaching. I wanted to share my life changing story with you. I truly believe that Barbara may not have been so lucky had I not done something to help her. I so strongly believe in these great self defense products that I wanted to help more than Barbara. I want to make others aware and make the world a safer place.
Regina Jacques is the Vice President of
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