Losing Your Temper Teaches Your Child Nothing

If you are wondering where your daughter got her Oscars-worthy back talk, remember that you both have lived under the same roof for the longest time. And during those years, she was able to pick up a few things here and there about you and the things that make you tick. Children are very adaptive and observant to their environment. While growing up, they learned how and what buttons to push.

Almost all parents try to control their emotions and bite their lips. However, there are some parents who are not really good at holding back and unleash their inner monsters quite easily. If you are one of the many parents whose weakness is poor emotion control, you are not alone.

Losing your temper can result to a lot of awful and violent things such as yelling at them, calling them names, slamming things in front of them, resorting to bigger consequences than needed, and exempting them from their basic needs like missing dinner as a form of punishment.

Parent and child struggle happens almost every day, over almost anything. For younger children it could be as small as getting dressed, playing with matches, eating vegetables, and being verbally rude. For older children and teenagers, the problems become more socially inclined and are usually about proper behavior outside the house, helping the the chores at home, and lying.

The primary reason why parents get so mad and lose it is because in the course of their anger, they get trapped in a power struggle with their child. Then moment you get yourself into this struggle, regardless of your child’s age, your emotions get more complicated and you will find it more difficult to get out of that rut.

If getting angry and losing temper help make children more equipped and productive, then perhaps parenting will not be as hard. Parents would then have to simply wait until their children gets into their nerves, yell at them, and in a snap, their children grow up changed and mature.

Taking things personally every time your child does something wrong is counterproductive. It is ineffective because the main cause of the problem gets lost in the heat of the argument and remains unsolved after everything has been said and done. When you lose your temper, your child gets your empty power thrusts, instead of learning the essential problem solving skill.

If your solution every time your child misbehaves is pound him with a bigger hammer, he will only grow and become a bigger nail. You have to understand that learning how to solve problems and control emotions are the things that you child needs to learn from you during childhood. If you do not teach him that, nobody will pick up the pieces for you.

By: Katherine Thompson

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