My very dear friend, Susan, passed away this morning after battling with cancer for the 2nd time. Yes, the tears are still trickling down my cheeks, even though I have been preparing myself since I found out, the sadness is still heavy within me, my focus is faulty today because I know I will never see her again in this lifetime. I miss her so much. So much.
She’s wasn’t perfect, no one is; but she was a perfect friend. Always there to listen, always there to laugh and smile and tell an off-color joke if she thought you were feeling blue. She was always ready to share herself, whether it was with a hug, a smile, or a shoulder to cry on.
She loved get-togethers with friends and family and you never knew what was going to happen when she was around. She was a catalyst and things just happened in her presence! She was a klutz, always walking into things, tripping over her own feet (or sometimes yours), but always just able to laugh at herself and have everyone around her join in. Not to make fun of herself, but to accept what was and just enjoy life as it happened. She was someone who was so enjoyable to be around, she was contagious, and you just loved life when you were around her.
Again, she wasn’t perfect, but she was a perfect friend.
I’ve found that today, feeling a part of me lost without her, I keep thinking of the great times we’ve had together. And I realize that I have A LOT of good memories with Susan. Quiet talks, LOUD, gossipy sessions (you know, the gabfests girls can have when they get together!), going out to dinner with a group, going shopping, sharing “kid” stories and comparing childbirth horrors, holiday parties and, of course, the BIG ONE, “dissing” the men we dated during our single years!
We got to know each other quite well in the 5 years or so we’ve known each other, so much that only each other knew certain things from the past, things you don’t discuss with others you’re not so close with. No judgments, no blame, just acceptance for who and what you are. Sisterhood at its very best.
Looking back through the memories, one keeps coming back to me over and over again. It lightens my heart; it makes me smile, even though my mouth still trembles, the tears keep falling, with the grief of missing her. I’d like to share that night with you all.
Susan loved to sing (and dance, and party, and just plain HAVE FUN!) and she had a decent voice. Now, me, I love to sing, but most people do NOT enjoy listening to me sing, but I have fun with it anyway. Susan and I had decided to have a karaoke night at my house and invite a few other girlfriends to join in. My husband had set up the karaoke machine in the family room (I’m hopeless with that kind of stuff), had grabbed a few plates of food, and hustled his way into the bedroom to watch TV in peace. Bless his heart, I never asked him to leave us alone, but he probably knew that being the only male in the room with the group I was having over would be detrimental to his mental health!
Susan was one of the first ladies to arrive and helped me set out plates of snacks on the counter; made sure the ice was in the cooler and helped me give out more directions to the ladies having a hard time finding my house. Things started “rocking” around 9pm, we were all drinking soda and iced tea, but anyone watching would have thought we were drinking hard stuff. It was LOUD! We were laughing our heads off and howling out tunes along with Tina and Aretha. We were all punch drunk silly sounding and having a grand time.
Then came the moment, Susan found “I’m a Brick House” on a karaoke CD and grabbed a microphone! Yikes, her favorite song! The music started, Carmen and Sandria grabbed mikes and stood up with her, and the threesome started belting out the song! WOW can’t begin to share the picture of what was going on in my living room that night. These three wonderful friends, all lovely in their own ways, swinging their hips, faces glowing and eyes shining, singing in perfect tandem to “I’m a Brick House”!
Needless to say, there wasn’t a song the rest of the night that could compare with that one! Until the evening slowed down and the ladies started leaving, that one song was all anyone could talk (AND LAUGH) about. The next day at work (we all worked together) that song was all we could talk about! Three years later and that night, THAT SONG, is what we still all talk about!
We had ladies that didn’t make it that night that made sure they attended the next karaoke night we had, but that first time, with that song, with Susan, has always been the night to remember. I’ve heard the saying “you had to be there” and I guess you do. Telling people about it, how crazy everyone was, how much fun it was, yeah, I guess you had to be there to really know.
I’m just glad that I WAS there, that I got to spend lots of time with my friend, my sister-in-my heart, and that all I have to do is dig through my mind and play a memory of her to get me through the next few days, the next few months, until it doesn’t hurt so much anymore.
I believe that the “good souls” become angels and, as such, they watch over us and know what we say and do. Because I believe that, I know she’ll hear me. Susan, I love you, I miss you, and I’m glad you’re not hurting anymore. Peace be with you, sister-of-my-heart.
Michelle Lacroix-Toro resides in Southern Florida with her husband and children. She can be reached at mgabalot@peoplepc.com and her www.MicMorEnterprises.com site.
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