Monkeys Reveal Elemental Speech Patterns; Ask For Shave And A Haircut

Researchers, listening carefully to the speech patterns of monkeys, determined that the creatures were incensed that they had evolved with all of their hair still bristling out of them, and they demanded the immediate remedy of a shave and a haircut.

Their request for tonsorial attendance has been presented to barbers and hairstylists to determine the number of volunteers that might be found.

A barber who accepted the challenge said, “I’ve cut a lot of different kinds of hair in my life but I never had a chimp walk in. But I’m always willing to accept a new challenge. I just hope they like the way I style hair. Or they might throw coconuts at me.”

By: Tom Attea-NewsLaugh.com

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Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs."