When I was 15yrs old we had quite a few relatives living in our house in Davao, amongst them were my first cousins Virgie and Wilson, and my second cousins Dante, and Tata. Dante was studying to be a priest but had decided to pull out; he entered University to study accounting. Even though he already had a girlfriend he was showing an interest in me, as well as a few other men in our area, but I was too shy to entertain their attention.
Dante used to help me with my homework and would sit close to me at the kitchen table. One night while he was sitting next to me helping me with my homework he put his hand on my leg, and I thought "oh my god I'm not a virgin anymore". That's how naive I was at the time. Anyway one thing led to another and eventually we started a relationship.
We tried to keep it quiet, as we both knew that my mother especially wouldn't like it. We used to go to the movies after school and go for walks on the beach nearby. One time when we were at the movies an uncle of mine saw us and told my mother. She hit the roof; as a result she kicked Dante and me out of home. Dante went his own way and I was left to my own devices. I was 16 by this time and had nowhere to stay; none of my relatives helped me for fear of upsetting my mother.
I ended up staying with a lady, who was a neighbour, who knew of my predicament. She told me that I could stay with her and she would help me continue with my studies, I was so grateful to her. I would get home from school and cook for her and wash her clothes and clean the house. There was one thing that I found confusing about her, she slept through the whole day and stayed out all night. I was only with her for a couple of weeks before I gathered the courage to ask her why she went out every night.
She told me that she was seeing different men each night and that they gave her money that is how she had enough money to support me. It dawned on me that she was a prostitute, and I couldn't bear the thought that I was being supported by a prostitute. It went against all of my religious beliefs. I decided to find Dante, as my current situation was partly his fault.
I finally tracked him down and convinced him that I was now his responsibility, and we got a room to rent. I fell pregnant with my first child during my 17th year. When his family found out that I was pregnant they told me that they would pay me if I got rid of the baby or gave them the baby after he was born. I used that money to go to Zamboanga; Dante had a brother there who was a doctor. I didn't go there to get rid of the baby; I just wanted to get away from Davao until it was too late to get an abortion.
I only stayed with his brother the doctor for a few weeks. At first Dante's brother didn't want me to stay with him but I convinced him that it was Dante's baby and that it was his families responsibility to look after me somehow. Dante was aware of where I was but didn't tell anyone else in his family. Once I was 4mths pregnant I went back to Davao to stay with Dante. But after I went back he didn't stay home much and when I would ask him why he always told me that he was working or playing basketball. One day I followed him and found out that there were 2 other women who thought that he was living with them.
How he managed to have 3 women all thinking that they were the only one that he was living with, I still don't know. I contacted both women and they said that as I was the one that was pregnant they would leave Dante alone. We lived happily, or so I thought.
Before I gave birth my mother got sick from Meningitis and was admitted to hospital, I tried to visit her as often as I could but my sister told the nurses that I wasn't welcome there, so sometimes they would refuse me entry into the hospital ward. When my mother passed away, at the age of 32, I would go to our family home to make sure that my younger brothers were being looked after. They weren't.
My father was already seeing another woman only 2wks after my mother died. In the area that our family home was, all of the houses were abutting each other, and a fire started that couldn't be put extinguished. Even though the fire started over a kilometre from our home we only had time to get the families clothes, we couldn't save anything else.
All of the residents who lost their homes were billeted in the local school assembly hall. That was the last time we saw our father for quite a few months, he moved in with his girlfriend, soon to become his second wife, and told us that we would have to look after ourselves. I made sure that the younger ones had somewhere to stay, my sister went on her own, my brother Rueben took care of his older brother Bulloy, and Nilo and I looked after Eric and Jun Jun.
When I went into labour Dante took me to the hospital. I was in labour for 27hrs most of which was spent in the corridor of the maternity ward. While I was there a doctor came to examine me and during the examination I felt an immense feeling of relief while the doctor was seeing how dilated I was. So from then on every time a man walked past in a white coat I asked him to examine me, it really did relieve the pain.
Finally when the first doctor who examined me came back I asked him how many doctors were on duty, he said he was the only one. I now imagine that the first bogus doctor was the cleaner or something and he went and told all his friends, and they took turns at wearing his white coat. Some people may think that this is funny, but it was a long time before I did.
When I awoke after the baby was born it was over 2 days since Dante had brought me there. I asked the nurses if anybody had visited me and she told said that not one person had come to see me or enquired about me. In the Philippines if you don't pay your hospital bill they won't let you take your baby home, so as soon as the nurse left I bundled up my baby and escaped from the hospital. When I got home I saw that Dante had taken all of his clothes.
I knew that there were only 3 places that he would go, Cebu, Zamboanga and Manila, as he had relatives in those cities. I wrote these three names on pieces of paper, folded them up and prayed for a long time for god to let me pick the right city. I picked Manila; I didn't know anyone in Manila. Remember I was 17, naive, and alone. I packed a bag with all of my possessions and went to my grandmothers house to tell her what I was going to do, and asked her if she would send Eric and Jun Jun to me once I found somewhere to stay in Manila.
She gave me all the money that she had, which was only 5pesos, and told me that we had a cousin who was a purser on the Williams shipping line, and he worked on the ship that ferried between Davao and Manila. I stood at the bottom of the gangplank to the ship waiting to see a lady of the right age to follow up the gangplank. I knew how things worked there, I would follow a lady up the gangplank but a little behind her, carrying my baby, I would be stopped by the attendant and asked for my ticket, I would then tell him that I was the babysitter for that lady up ahead and she had my ticket.
In the Philippines you never question someone who you think is rich, so he let me go. I sat on the deck out in the open trying to avoid the ticket collector, but he finally came to me and asked for my ticket. I admitted to him that I didn't have a ticket but that my cousin was the purser on the ship. My cousin was called, and I introduced myself to him. I begged him to let me stay on the ship until Manila and that somehow I would repay him if he paid for my ticket.
After he did this for me I had another surprise, they found Eric. He had followed me onto the ship and hid in a toilet until the ship had left the harbour. Being only 4 years of age I had to admit that he was one brave little boy, but it meant that I had to ask our cousin the purser to stand me for another ticket for Eric.
Kelvin, my baby, was hungry, cold and dirty, and was crying constantly. A lady came over to me and told me that for some reason she felt connected to the baby and asked if she could hold him, she also gave me some money to buy some milk for him, as I didn't have breast milk due to my malnourished state.
While she was nursing my baby I told my story about how I had done my raffle and Manila was chosen to find my baby's father. But that I didn't know anyone in Manila and I had placed my trust in God. I showed her a photo of Dante, she was shocked, and she told me that she knew him. He was a distant cousin of hers and she was going to Manila to his wedding.
When we got off the ship, her father and mother were waiting for her; she introduced me to them and was slapped in the face, in front of me, for bringing me with her. I explained the situation to them and told them that we had only just met on the ship. I forced them to give me a bed for the night and promised that the next day I would leave them alone.
The next day I found out where Dante was working and went to his office. There I showed him his baby and convinced him to take us in and cancel the wedding. We then moved into a room that an Aunty of his had. They were very poor and survived on the pittance that Dante's mother sent to them. Once Dante's mother found out that we were living with them she stopped sending them money. Of course eventually they told us that we would have to move out, because they would starve without his mothers help.
The night they turned us away a cyclone was battering Manila. We walked until we got to Munoz Markets where we could stand out of the rain and wind, we just stood there for hours, until eventually I asked Dante where we were going to stay. Thinking that he was the man and would know what to do. He said that we would just stay there until someone feels sorry for us and takes us in.
I was not going to just stand there and wait for something to happen. Eric was already picking up the centavos that people were throwing at our feet. Passers-by thought that we were beggars. I handed Kelvin to Dante and told them all to wait there; I would find us a place to stay.
I picked up the skewers that were thrown on the street, they were used to skewer the chicken feet that were being cooked and sold on the sidewalk. I then stuck them in the ground as I walked and I kept going until I found a sign advertising a room for rent. I knocked on the door of the house with the sign and made a deal with the owner to let us stay there on the promise that I would pay them as soon as we could, and that I would cook and clean for them as well.
The room that she gave us had a dirt floor, I mad a hammock for Kelvin so that he wouldn't have to sleep in the dirt and Eric lay across mine and Dante's legs to keep him off the floor as well. Dante and I slept sitting up. Dante lost his job as soon as he broke off his wedding because his wife to be was the manager's secretary. But I have to give him credit; the day after we slept in the dirt he got a job as a taxi driver.
A soon as we had saved some money I went off again to find somewhere better to stay, that is how I met the woman who I will call Mummy for the rest of my life along with hundreds of other people whom she has taken into her home. Mummy had a big house not far from Munoz Markets and someone told me that she often rents rooms out and that she is a very kind lady.
I went to Mummy's house and told her my story and straight away she said that I could stay in her spare room. Compared to sleeping on a dirt floor I felt as though I was in a palace at Mummy and Kuya's house, Kuya is Mummy's husband, and he likes to be called Kuya because he likes to think that he is everyone's elder brother. A nicer couple you would never meet.
