It had to happen, eventually, but it did take two years longer that I anticipated. My random "bumping into" of a former lover is still fresh, having taken place less than twenty four hours ago.
"That's the last guy you fell for?" questioned my friend Mike who was with me at the time.
Yeah, who would have thought? But more than that, he really hurt me."
At first glance Adam is eh, I would say, average looking with geek undertones. He is balding, has rosacea and could have used a few extra inches to compliment me in heels. But as I explained to Mike over a plate of Greek mezzes yesterday afternoon, his initial eagerness to tend to my every need and spend every free waking moment together made me feel so special that I quickly got over the red spots and thinning patches.
Of course the fact that the whole time while Adam was with me his fiancée was finishing up her residency in another city is one thing. What's worse is that he never had the balls to end things, he just disappeared.
"You know what that is my dear," Mike commented after observing the flustered exchange. "There are these nerdy kids from high school who never got the girl. All of a sudden they peak in their 30's and 40's, start getting it from all ends and then abuse the attention."
Mike hit it right on the head. We realized that my ex suffered from what I call the "Nerd Gone Cool Syndrome," a theory I have been postulating since before the days of Adam. With each morsel I chewed came various frightfully clear flashbacks.
The former chubby turned tri-athlete who was more interested in looking at himself than me. That ended when I realized he kept staring at his own reflection every time we were in the heat of passion.
Then there was the once shy introvert who transformed into a successful entertainment attorney. He would unabashedly draw attention to himself every time we were out by making and taking countless business and non-business related calls on his cell phone.
And dare I forget the meek multi-millionaire braniac with the bright yellow Ferrari who tried to impress me and my girlfriends by flashing wads of cash and ordering bottle service every time we went out?
Unlike Adam, none of those guys made it past date two. And in sharing these memories with Mike, I learned that he too encountered similar behaviors throughout his dating escapades with women.
Some people don't forget where they came from. Others have a hard time remembering. The important thing to keep in mind when weeding out the good from the bad is that no amount of coin or flash can give someone the character it takes to be cool.
