Once Upon A Time With Facedrink

I've always been a nerdy kid without any friends. I've never seen my parents, ever, since I am the most disliked person in the world and they hated me ever since my mom was pregnant. During my high school years, I was the only one who eats lunch in the bathroom and the only one who pukes when seeing a girl - any girl (Yes, even Amy Winehouse). By the time I got to the Massachusetts Institute of Nerds, I was rated the "Coldest men in the world" (you know, opposite of the hottest) by askmen.com. I somehow happened to develop some sort of power preventing people from getting close to me. For example, when I go to the bathroom, it will always be empty ahead of time. When I go to six flags, nobody will be there, not even the security guard.

But everything changed after I got this drink.

It was an accident actually. One day I was wandering around six flags (alone of course); I saw a store selling Facedrink. So well, since nobody is there (like always) and I am thirsty, I decided to give it a sip so I took one and drank it. It tastes like a real lite beer, but it's a bit more sweet and sour. I immediately passed out and when I woke up, I was sleeping on a heart shaped bed, I felt really tired. I stood up, looked at the mirror and OMG I am Hugh Hefner! Ever since I can't stop puking because you guessed it, I became Hugh Hefner and began living in the playboy mansion and I puke when I see girls, duh!

This drink is really lame; it just simply turns you into the popular old dude and nothing else! What's worst is that they only produce the Facedrink but not the unFacedrink, which means once you turn into that creepy old dude living with all the hot chicks, you can't turn back. You know, this really sucks! I was looking forward to finish my PhD Physics degree at the Massachusetts Institute of Nerds but now I am stuck with those blonde ladies without the slightest intelligence. Can you believe it? Yesterday, while puking I taught a girl how to count from one to ten because she couldn't figure out what's after nine! This is unbearable!

Final Verdict?
Good Drink but beware of the side effects!

By: Darryl Williams

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