Our Thoughts Create Our Reality

Who are the most honest people in the world? Take the time to think a minute. Who are the most honest?

I say it is young children who are most honest--very young children, who call it the way they see it. The ones who are spontaneous. Naive. Without political correctness. Who haven't been taught that lying works, and haven't been punished for what they say. Who haven't yet adopted our agenda in life. They don't have those voices in their heads that tell them what they can and cannot be or do. That they are ugly. Or stupid.

I believe we all came into this world with certain characteristics such as the following: Honest, Loving and Lovable, Accepting, often to our detriment, taking what went on around us as normal. Equal, at the level of being and our human rights, Valuable, "Save the Women and Children," With Purpose, for example, to learn and to grow. We learn by trial and error with no embarrassment for making mistakes. Deserving, In the Now [Present], Feeling, Innocent, Spontaneous

So, if this is how we started out, what happened?

We began to develop self-defeating beliefs that we then held as real and true. And even worse, held these beliefs as valid representations of who we were. Let me demonstrate this concept to you. You've heard before that if a child hears that they are stupid enough times, whether it's actually said or they merely perceive it being said, eventually they'll believe it. And our thoughts create our future. If I believe I'm stupid, then how do I act? Stupidly. And how does the universe treat me? As if I'm stupid. Because people and the universe just show up to us based on our beliefs. That's how it works.

Please look into your own life for examples of self-defeating beliefs. Look at the following sentence, think about it, and then fill in the blank--with as many words as you can.

I'm not ________ enough.

I'm not good enough. I'm not handsome enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not tall enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not loving enough. I’m not spiritual enough. I'm not short enough. I'm not skinny enough. I'm not fat enough. Ad infinitum.

Each one of these self-defeating beliefs is held as true for us, and we begin to operate with not only fixed beliefs but also fixed behaviors and fixed emotions. And each of the beliefs separates us from that honest child within, so we end up with layers upon layers of self-defeating beliefs that hide those glorious qualities that we brought with us into the world.

You can look at the self-defeating beliefs you formed around your looks, your fears, your "shoulds" and "can'ts," your better than and less than. And frequently we turn injunctions such as Be good, Be strong, and Work hard (and the perceived Be Perfect--an impossibility) into negative beliefs about ourselves. We have issues about authority, guilt and shame, what success means, winning or losing, good vs. bad, ourselves or others as undeserving, hatred, racism, the roles of women, the roles of men, scarcity, criticism, and resentment. Do you believe that love has to be earned? Or do your actions indicate that you believe that love is earned? The list of beliefs goes on and on. And who we were created to be gets further and further lost in the morass of beliefs.

So if these beliefs have become one of my layers, then that is how I present myself. And that is exactly what the universe validates. The job of the universe is just to show up to me based on my belief system. It doesn't know the difference between positive and negative.

If I do not feel good enough, how does my life look so far? If I have a belief that I'm bad, how has my life looked so far? So if a relationship isn't working for me, who is that about? I maintain that it is always about me. Always. We may repeat the same errors in relationships over and over again until we get this point. It is always about us.

From a dispassionate point of view, events are just events--until we attach meaning to them. Events are just events until we make them mean something. And remember that innocent children take everything personally. They hurt deeply and may try to protect themselves from hurting. We develop a huge number of layers of beliefs that do not work for us and cause an enormous amount of pain. Often they can result even in physical illness. For reference, see Louise Hay's book You Can Heal your Life for possible self-defeating beliefs that can underlie our physical symptoms. Negative self-defeating beliefs contradict our true nature, and our bodies react to them with illness.

It is time for us to separate our behavior from who we are. As a result of our self-defeating belief systems, many of us live unhappy, depressed, and unsatisfied lives, always sabotaging anything good in our lives, because we don't feel like we 'deserve' full, happy, and satisfying lives. We seldom find out what is really going on with us and that there is a solution.

By: Leslie Reynolds Benns

Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com

Leslie Reynolds-Benns, PhD, author of one of the most important books on the planet, right now, Confession is Good for MORE than the Soul. Speaker, trainer, workshop leader, community activist and wedding officiant. Sign up for a FR*E*E 4-part mini e-course - CREATING YOUR OWN REALITY, which is an introduction to GETTING RID OF PSYCHIC CLUTTER - at www.lesliereynoldsbenns.com