Some women are so obsessed with getting married that they will even when unprepared. This can probably be traced back to the time when, as little girls, they played make-believe fairytale lives with their Barbies and Kens. But are they truly equipped to stay committed to their husbands for the rest of their lives? Do they even know what commitment means? Could it be that they just fancy to wear a Tiffany diamond engagement ring (for the showing off), marshal a wedding (because it IS thrilling), wear a virginal white gown (the longer the train, the better), be showered with rose petals (simply romantic!), and cut the cake (with the gold trimmings)? Or perhaps they just want the presents, or that trip to Bali, Indonesia (because a honeymoon is the perfect excuse to splurge).
Still a number of them, though they won’t admit it, desire to get married if only to disprove malicious relatives who say they’re not marriage material. Others simply don’t like to be left behind—and some nights do get lonely. Then again, if you are planning to tie the knot but aren’t quite sure if it is the right decision, you must be able to answer a few crucial questions first with all honesty. Do you believe marriage is for you? Are you getting married for all the right reasons? Do you truly believe that conjugality will end your loneliness, satiate your need for happiness and fulfillment, and complete you? A famous pianist was asked in a television interview what she had learned from her failed union, and she answered: “To not ever do it again.” Look around you.
You might be surprised to find out that people you know are secretly in marital relationships that are crumbly and crummy. A number of them are trying to avoid separation or divorce however which way they can, while others are convinced the situation is hopeless and are now contemplating affairs. Then there are those who are weighing their options and keeping their minds open to any possibilities. Here’s something to consider: If individuality ranks highest on your list of personal attributes, if you react poorly in a controlled environment, or if you’re too fickle-minded to stay faithful for long, then the wedded state may not be for you.
In truth, women play the same games men play, so a married woman succumbing to an illicit relationship is not remote. You don’t even have to look far to get proof. Hollywood alone has trivialized, revolutionized, or destroyed the concept of matrimony depending on how you look at it. In fact, if we are to base the success rate of weddings on the number of celebrities worldwide who wed and get divorced in less than a year, then tying the knot has gone bust. It’s just not the same anymore. Quickie nuptials and even quicker divorces are on the rise, quite unfortunately.
Suffice it to say that if you want to avoid the pitfalls of an unsuccessful union, be smart. Marriage should ideally last a lifetime. And if a lifetime is what you desire to share with someone, isn’t it only fair that you invest a reasonable amount of contemplation and read the fine print first before signing the dotted line?
The author of this article Ruth Purple is a Relationships Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Ruth recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website www.relazine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.
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