African-Americans are often seen in the light of sex, luxury and fame. It became their growing idea of liberation from the years of enslavement and racism of the Caucasian race that their forefathers have fought for. Truth be told, it was what have been deprived of them all those years. Hence came the Thirteenth Amendment, America now tries to blur the discrimination against race and ethnicity. African-American artists, musicians, actors, writers, athletes and even politicians are now taking their own turfs under the limelight. Ironically, they still have to leave their brothers and sisters in urban poor communities behind; clamoring for the same thing they thought they enjoy—sex, luxury, fame.
What do all of these imply? Simply put, African-American singles tend to look for partners who can give them that same quality of life, ignoring what really is important in a relationship. Most of them would opt for a hedonistic approach in decision-making, choosing the temporal and materialistic as opposed to a permanent and simple life. So instead of trying to find a man who will trust them and support all their endeavors, they would rather find someone who can pay the rent and take them to posh restaurants—that being their idea of thoughtfulness and care. In return, our African-American brothers would tend to see their girlfriends or wives as objects they can buy, and eventually own. It is as if giving them the privilege to do anything to them, to the point of verbal, physical and sexual abuse.
Again, these are tendencies that arise from the idea of hedonism and materialism that proliferate in the media and not the general scene in most African-American homes. However, another factor that may lead to such is the way some African-American families are raised due to socio-economic constraints. Statistics would show that African-American families are often raised single-handedly by mothers. Sometimes there is no father figure inside the house to whom our African-American brothers can identify how it is to treat a woman and become responsible for their actions. This lack of a father figure which also equates to lack of financial support also leads to the idea that women should look for a partner who can give them what their fathers was not able to give their mothers—a more comfortable life.
The state of African-American relationships is, therefore, still affected by the history of discrimination and racism in the country. Having said that, it is safe to say that the battles that their forefathers have fought for still have to be fought for and won nowadays, only in a more personal arena.
There is a myth that the world today lacks a single Black male and that is why Black women should try and find their luck in interracial relationships. The idea is a mere band aid solution to a more pressing problem of losing hope in the Black man. Instead of keeping away from them, the best solution is to try and ignore such stereotypes. Besides, relationships are all about understanding each other. Whatever happens is not a mere product of a Mr. Right or a Perfect Girl but of both.
