A little boy, maybe four years old sits at the table at a restaurant and hits himself in the face with a board book until tears come to his eyes. His mother who appears to have seen this before, looks at him sweetly, wipes his tears, and says "Evan, honey, quit hurting yourself."
A devastated friend confides:
"I hate my marriage. I don't see this getting better. I don't see anyway out."
A tearful client cries,
"I have been in this job for four years. I hate going there. My boss is seriously abusive. I've stayed longer then anyone. You'd think she'd respect me for that, but she doesn't. It seems to be getting worse. I don't know what to do."
Another reader writes,
"My boyfriend and I are fighting all the time. I love him. I really do. But seriously, I'm starting to feel sick every time I'm around him. I don't want to keep going on like this."
I am going to impart a novel piece of advice that has the power to transform your life forever. If it hurts - stop doing it. Just stop. Trust me I realize it may not be easy, but it is that simple.
When we pay attention to how things feel our emotional guidance system tells us what's good for us and what isn't. Success or failure in life, misery or happiness, all hang in the balance of how willing we are to pay attention to how things feel. It's law of attraction basics 101. However, for what ever reason that typically escapes me, people take a sense of pride in hanging in there when things are unbearable. Some are trained to believe there is honor in suffering. Maybe there is. But there isn't any happiness.
You learned as a child that if the burner was hot pull your hands back from the stove. If you want a happy life, stop doing things that hurt. It might be a simple as resigning your post as the President of the PTA. It might be as horrific as leaving a ten year marriage. Whatever it is, when you stop doing it, the pain will eventually pass and a doorway to freedom will open.
Just remember this one simple thing - if it hurts - even a little - stop doing it. Quit hurting yourself.
Lisa Hayes is the author of HOW TO ESCAPE FROM RELATIONSHIP HELL.
She is a mother of two, yoga instructor, hypnotherapist, and internet
project manager. Lisa likes long walks on the beach and naps.
You can contact her at www.escapefromrelationshiphell.com.
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